Indigestion 10/06/2013

~Death Lake Magic~


A lake that turns living creatures to stone? I’m in love!

Natron is both the name of a lake and the naturally occurring mineral after which the lake is named. Animals immersed in a solution of it will die and become calcified (with a few rare exceptions).


Westboro Baptists Come Too Close For Comfort To Woman Enjoying Herself

I’ve gotten myself off in some pretty unsexy places, but it’d really take a kinky mood for me to even try to pull this off. Congrats to Get Shot! for making something of a statement …or at least for their heroics in marketing, as this mostly seems to have the effect of being an advertisement for their porn site. Apparently, they are the first band on Earth to start a porn site, so they say… and I don’t doubt them. To point out the obvious, I’m sure as with Suicide Girls and God’s Girls, it’s pretty heteronormative and arguably sexist material. As for pranks that the Westboro Baptist Church has faced, there’s been some other goodies from Bash Back! (only one of which is the first video on the site) and Russell Brand.  I feel like Westboro Baptist Church is a dead horse by now …which means flog the fucking thing until its remains are barely recognizable. Fuck them.

The US Indicts 13 Anonymous Comrades

At the beginning of the week, the FBI used its delete key on piece of shit Ross Ulbricht and the site Silk Road. On Thursday, the State indicted 13 comrades for alleged participation in Anonymous’ Operation Pay-Back: a retaliatory effort to slap the government for trying to delete the Pirate Bay. As has been the misfortune of many radicals and resistors, the State is using its gruesome grand jury process for prosecution and of course, to see who will crack and rat out other participants in Anonymous-related direct actions. If you don’t know what a grand jury means, you can find out all about them here. Good luck to those who will probably be called the [something] 13.

The NSA and GCHQ Target TOR

This Guardian piece is a pretty good overview of the battle which has been taking place between the NSA and everyone who uses TOR for whatever reason. The bad news is that the NSA has been able to take advantage of vulnerabilities in older versions of Mozilla Firefox and theoretical methods for de-anonymizing TOR users have been presented in secret NSA documents. The good news is that newer versions of Firefox are not vulnerable to these NSA attacks and TOR itself is pretty fucking resilient. Something interesting that the piece touches on is the conflicting interests of the State in maintaining the security of TOR.

Exploring Generational Difference with Dr. Larry Rosen

In Phantom Phone Vibrations: So Common They’ve Changed Our Brains?, Dr. Larry Rosen’s thought-crumbs are briefly featured midst even more inane quotes and links about the psychological impact of mobile phones (such as a lady who mistakes cow moos for her phone and a research paper that concludes its subjects don’t need treatment for phantom phone vibrations). Feeling burned, I wanted to at least explore the topic a little more by checking out what Dr. Rosen has to say …beyond almost nothing. I visited his website and navigated over to the media section to watch his interview.

From this interview, it seems like Rosen’s main area of interest is in the way which different generations and technologies relate; a conversation topic which frequently comes up for me. While the generations are categorized by Dr. Rosen into a number of groups (the Baby Boomers, Generation X, the Net Generation, the iGeneration, and Generation C), he also relies on a binary split between so-called “Digital Immigrants” and “Digital Natives”. This distinction comes into play with Generation X, after which people who are born are no longer migrating into a foreign world of digital technologies, but are native to . Comparing a Digital Immigrant with a Digital Native can be quite dramatic, with Baby Boomers struggling to keep up with 8 year old computer consultants and 9 year old smartphone application developers. Since it is these younger generations of Digital Natives that are mysterious and fascinating, explaining the extent to which these technologies shape their communication skills, daily routines, learning methods, and working habits becomes the focus of the interview.

What Dr. Rosen finds is that Digital Natives are more creative, switch between tasks more often and may be better at it than Digital Immigrants, face problems comprehending the impact of context while communicating, rely on text messages and social networking sites more than e-mail and phones, and lose sleep to mid-slumber conversations. This lays the groundwork for the advice Rosen later has for the Digital Immigrants that are parents and teachers. He also briefly mentions that digital technologies are making us all look like candidates for ADD, OCD, Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Voyeurism, Body Dysmorphic Disorder, and Facebook Depression Disorder. <-lol

Ok, so what this guy is saying isn’t surprising or too controversial. If you’ve ever interacted with someone under 30, you’ve probably noticed most of this. Being on the cusp of generational transitions in a number of systems (born in 1985), what interests me the most about this is exploring the details of different rule-sets I’ve learned to rely on if someone is older or younger than me. It’s a frustrating position. The Digital Immigrant in me is nostalgic for using landlines and payphones to orchestrate outdoor meet-ups, while the Digital Native in me can’t stand being on a telephone call for very long, hates the organization of work by older generations, and yet doesn’t intuitively understand the sorts of context-recognition issues that come with growing up immersed in digital communications. It’s a very strange mish-mosh of traits from both sides of the generational split.


In local surveillance state news, Down and Drought has busted out another one of their top-notch pieces. This time, we get to read all about recent practices and technologies used by the Phoenix Police Department at a college football game and how this ties in with broader campaigns of state repression in the area. You wouldn’t know from the material I’ve included so far in Indigestion, but local anarchists have been doing an excellent job of exposing the police state here and maintaining a fresh analysis of ongoing struggles. A lot of this can be seen from references to past events in this current Down and Drought article, as well by checking out some of the other articles and resources on their site.

Petty, Shortsighted Americans Outraged At Legislature That Represents Them Perfectly

…Just a break for some more the Onion lolz leading into…

We Asked a Military Expert if All the World’s Armies Could Shut Down the US

Well here we fucking have it, the question of all questions about  US geo-political power: Who would win in a fight, the United States or the Rest of the World? The military expert’s short answer, “The combined military air- and sealift capability of the rest of the world would be insufficient to even get a foothold on the continental United States.” As for taking up a revolutionary position in the United States with this as the global last word scenario, it’s a grim picture. Though, revolution and even asymmetrical warfare are a lot different than this frontal battle type of hypothetical. And even that aside, I don’t think that the futility of a revolution in this country makes anarchist positions futile. If you can’t beat em then join em logic is horse shit. But I’ve digressed, military expert has a reasonable way of explaining the problems with anyone and everyone conquering the United States, which I thought was worth my five minutes.

Swiss to Vote on Guaranteed $2800 Monthly Income for All Adults

$2,800 every month?! Fucking hell that’s more than I’ve ever made at a full time job. That’s actually almost three times what I usually make if I’m lucky enough to get 40 hours of paid labor. Ok… ok, well good for them. Let me go and unclog my motivation from the toilet now.

Steve Lambert Asks Americans If Capitalism Works for Them

Steve Lambert is spot on when he demonstrates the problem of talking about capitalism by saying that it is like walking up to someone and asking if you could have a conversation with them about the Lord, Jesus Christ. His current project gets around some of these problems by making the question personal with a giant sign he is touring around with that reads “Capitalism works for me!”.  Local passers-by step up and push a true or false button, adding a point to either side of what looks like a score board. It’s actually a little more involved than you would think without hearing Lambert talk about his project (for example, in one of the videos on his site). Check out his introductory lecture and some of the interviews… see if he’ll be in your town!

Indigestion 10/02/2013

This is the first digest in what I plan to continue as an ongoing project. I’m not sure how frequently I’m going to do these because some of this is more interesting the earlier it is read, but I’m considering a weekly if not bi-weekly release. My thoughts are that instead of passively consuming and then sharing this media on Facebook, with the exception of a comment about them here and there, I’m going to accumulate these things I read and watch and make an effort to write something more substantial in response. Admittedly, the point of me doing this is to get myself back into the habit of writing more frequently and about more contemporary and relevant issues. I don’t have any real expectations from this project except for the latter affect on my own daily life rituals.

Area Man Unsure If He’s Male-Bonding Or Being Bullied

I often like what I see on the Onion and this is no exception. I don’t want to ruin a joke by analysing it, so I’m just going to let a bit of man complaining drift into this next piece…

Dating Tips For The Feminist Man

The audience targeting in this is so damn goofy that my conclusion is …I like this article and I don’t. Let’s start with this second paragraph:

“You’re a straight monogamous cismale who identifies as a leftie. Maybe you’re a Marxist or a socialist; maybe you’re an anarchist. You respect women. You would never act like a player. You fall in love with strong, smart, feminist women. You believe that our movements are stronger if they include everyone.”

I almost stopped reading there as a queer, almost monogamousish sort-of person, who could sometimes be thought of as not cismale, and who is anti-Left or post-Left or something like that. But ok, that’s me and I’m sure there are plenty of these types the author is aiming at who for some reason have shit interpersonal relationship skills. This article is more-so advice for just about anyone and with the emphasis on hooking up, this may not be the sort of advice someone is looking for when they think of dating tips (there’s less talk of on-date etiquette and more talk about what to do before, during, and after having sex). There’s some good don’t be a fucking dick tips which some people may need to hear every so often, even if they’re not the target audience or even that much of a dick. So when it comes to elaborating on exactly what being a dick means, this is definitely a good reference. There is some other issues I have, for instance my individualism and values for mutuality and solidarity aren’t a contradiction, contra #11. I also have problems with #16, considering that behaviours of “retreat[ing] into your head or use[ing] logic to disconnect from empathy when you find emotions coming your way” is more than just an effect of sexism …and it’s fucking ablist to tell someone who isn’t neuro-typical with emotions that it is. Then again, the author might as well just add neuro-typical to that list in the second paragraph. Aside from that a lot of what bugs me is word choice and the main concerns of the piece come through fine.


Yes, My Musician Kids Have Jobs. They’re Musicians.

A nice example of parenting from the father of a Days N Daze member …or at least that is what I was told with the article’s posting since it doesn’t actually mention what band this guy’s talking about.

I can relate to this article in my own way because I was brought up by parents with a very similar attitude about my creative projects and lifestyle. Just as much, I often overheard my folks putting what I was doing in the language of business or in some way justifying to their friends what they were letting me do in supposedly adult terms. I know I didn’t think about what I was doing in that way and I have no idea if this band does because really, I haven’t listened to them much. But, I’ve had friends who have faced some nasty consequences from their parents in their struggle to basically just live a different lifestyle. In their perspective, any labor (creative, social, etc.) that has come with surviving with different values was seen more as a compromise than the pursuit of a profession and a good amount of “fuck work” masked the actual work this article points out. Either way, go Dad.


FBI seizes underground drug market Silk Road, owner indicted in New York

First of all, some of the responses I’ve seen to this have come from the naive perspective that Silk Road is the terrorist go to hotspot on the dark web. I’m not sure how anyone could get this idea if they’re already familiar with TOR routed websites, and if you aren’t I’d suggest this decent overview from GeekBlog’s YouTube. That being said, boohoo for almost a million people who were getting their thrills and chills from Silk Road …and even more boohoo for all the agorists, free market fundamentalists, black market enthusiasts, bitcoin utopians, or in other words white, middle-class economics geeks with scorn for history. Most of the tears will be coming from Ross Ulbricht, though. The man supposedly behind the Silk Road owner account Dread Pirate Roberts, who allegedly succeeded in two BitCoin-operated hired assassinations, like any good ancap says shit like this: “Now, my goals have shifted. I want to use economic theory as a means to abolish the use of coercion and agression amongst mankind … I am creating an economic simulation to give people a first-hand experience of what it would be like to live in a world without the systemic use of force.” Apparently a world without the systemic use of force is a world with… oh, a world which uses systems of coercion and force paid for in digital currencies. But at least everything could be a legitimate commodity in that world, right?

Here’s some discussion by anarcho-capitalists being trolled by some anarcho-friendlies on Reddit


Coming Soon? An Occupy Wall Street Debit Card

In other capitalist apologizer news, the Occupy Money Cooperative is making headway on its plans to digitize your currency with comrade Deutsche Bank and ally Visa. I agree with the point at the end of this article that since Occupy is a consensus-based movement an approved cooperative, spoke, or whatever shouldn’t use the Occupy brand. If some Occupy-associated group wants to compete in the financial instrument markets then as I’d argue for anarchist groups associated with the Occupy Movement, they don’t need approval to do so. Overall, the Occupy Money Cooperative can go fuck itself and I don’t consent (in the fantasy that is now Occupy) to their association to begin with.

For further insight and critique of the scum bags that are the Occupy Money Cooperative, I’ll leave you to check out Suzahn Ebrahimian’s article which carries a similar perspective nicely.


The ‘sell-by’ dates on your groceries are useless. Here’s why.

I take it as a given that ‘sell-by’ dates are useless, but I never realized exactly how incoherent these systems are and food waste is one of those stastical figures that doesn’t stick in my brains.

There’s no question that food waste is a problem both from grocers and from restaurants. This issue has bothered me since I heard someone compare how many people go hungry nationally and globally with the insane amount of food that is thrown out in the US …and that’s before thinking about how much food would be saved from a more reasonable diet and the real impact vegetarianism has the more people adopt it (even though I don’t). Granted, the issue with ‘sell-by’ dates is a problem that I’ve benefited from in a huge way from dumpstering and the same can be said for plenty of people I know. I am pretty sure though that I would prefer to live in a community that does not produce so much food for the bins in the first place.


Disinfo Wars: Alex Jones’ War on Your Mind

Alex Jones… sucks. You can read this article if you want some specific data which demonstrates the extent to which he sucks, but you probably already know that this guy sucks. The article itself is, not bad. I don’t find its main argument very useful – which is that Alex Jones disrupts the spread of credible research and he might as well be a CIA operative carrying out COINTELPRO – for the most part because I think that’s an obnoxious argument that gets tossed about whenever someone thinks they are entitled to more attention for their research. I’ve known plenty of idiots that are Alex Jones fans who are impossible to convince of Jones’ bullshit; but, I’m positive that those same people would latch onto some other hokey garbage if Jones wasn’t around. What’s interesting to me is how much this dip-shit lies. I can verify for myself several things he’s lied about (every black bloc and riot being a false flag) and much of his commentary is clearly looney tunes. But, some of the things in this article show that Alex Jones isn’t just in the wing-nut camp, he’s intentionally deceptive. Even in his somewhat well-known documentation of the Bohemian Grove’s Cremation of Care ceremony, his sensationalizing goes beyond mere hype and into straight-up deception: the mother fucker was invited to it and snuck in without any fear of consequences.



Arizona Democrats, Obama Supporters Trash Office of Congressman David Schweikert

Come… QUICK! Somebody just put sticky notes on the principle’s door! “Pssst” whispers one teacher to another, “I heard it was actually student council members.”


Nope, just a bunch of liberals letting off some steam; or, more like unrolling some masking tape.

What Happens If The Debt Ceiling Is Breached?

When economics tries to be doom and gloomy, it’s still some pretty dry shit. Instead of posting something about the government shutdown though, I wanted to put some focus on this. I’m not going to bother summarizing this one since I read it to learn more which also is to say that I probably couldn’t perform much of a critique (or even a summary). But there you go! That does it for the first half of the week.



Extra-Terrestrials Choose Hollywood’s Sexiest Geeks to Lead Humanity in the War Against the Machines


Are you a Sexy Super-Geek? We need you to lead the Resistance!

Once again, capitalism needs MORE GEEKS …and as always, Hollywood is here to build the prototype. There is a history to this trend. The movie Hackers came out in 1995, shortly before venture capitalists started frothing at the mouth causing the Dot-com bubble to grow. A decade earlier, and the nerd/geek archetype was whipped out in Revenge of the Nerds with the boom of the computer industry. Now with the controversial crises in qualified geeks (the STEM crisis), there has been no short supply of sexy scientists and hackers, adorable IT professionals, and hero worship of computer industry giants like Steve Jobs. The world is filling up with Brogrammers and fetishized female gamers.

But the economy really doesn’t matter to the powers that be. What is really happening which requires such a daring attempt to make geeky so sexy?

skynet-britanico\tHE MAChIneS R WINniNG!/

Just when you thought that organic trends, paleo diets, and the health food craze meant middle-class Americans wanted to get back to mother nature, here we are now in a world of Geek Heroes vs. Geek Villains, and the distinctions between the two aren’t very clear. Whose side are you on, Bill Gates or Jeremy Hammond? Are you an on the right wing or the left wing of intellectual property law? Certainly, you’ve heard of BitCoin! What do you mean you don’t have a smart phone?

Survival books aren’t about nature at all anymore. Now, they include a primer on cyber-spying, counter-insurgency, whistle-blowing, and 10 chapters on how to potentially protect yourself from the NSA (or the neighborhood peeping cyber-Tom). With the developments in brain-to-brain technology, google glasses, creating and deleting organic memories, and an endless list of sci-fi wet dreams come true, it’s hard to deny that ‘human’ is a useful distinction (not compared with other animals, but compared with machines). I’m not so far in the camp of tech paranoids that this is causing me nightmares or anything, just enough to admit that yes… the machines are winning.

Or are they?


Take me to your leader!

The real news, folks, is that the aliens are using Hollywood to find the best leaders to save humanity from the inevitable machine take-over. Or are the machines really alien technology that are being promoted by extra terrestrials through the sexy Nerd/Geeks, as evidenced by ancient alien technology and the difficulty in imagining that this modern tech is a human invention? Maybe it’s two or more species of extra-terrestrials with different plans based on different galactic interests in the future of Earth and the human species? MAYBE THE EARTH IS AN ALIEN THAT WANTS THE MAChINES TO WIN BECAUSE HuMANS HAVE PROVEN TO BE NONREDEEMABLE FAILURES!





…Fuck it. Let’s just get going on this Mars thing and let Earth problems take a piss.

Moral Fatigue

**This was supposed to come out on an episode of Inconsiderate (audio) so it is written to be heard, not so much read**

Thanatos, the death urge. This is the morbid, subconscious fear of non-death which psychoanalysts
attribute many of our fantasies to. Culture is filled with variations of this fear: purgatory, the nowhere of the Twilight Zone or Lost, vampires, zombies, curses of eternal life. We are haunted by the non-entities from the nowhere places of non-death. And in order to ward them off, we have invented numerous devices. We’ve
reinforced coffins or have installed alarm systems should the dead rise. We’ve conducted regular ceremonies
to appease our dead relatives. We have even come to deify those who have come back from the underworld not
only unscathed, but triumphantly. And then there’s psychics, dream analysits, shamans, and priests …our
privileged soothsayers.

What is it that they want us to remember throughout the day? To be Good! So that the other world lets us
sleep. In Thus Spake Zarathustra, Nietzsche mocks moralists for their preoccupation with sleeping well and
the rituals they prescribe towards that end. And for as vague as Zarathustra can be, he’s not the only one that
has made the connections between morality, stress, internal dialogue, and sleep. Plenty of people have taken
dreams – and especially nightmares – quite seriously. Even our lauded psychiatrists recognize a symptom of
disease in restlessness and terrifying fantasies.

It’s one thing to expect from mystics and idealists that they would give dreaming such lofty ontological
significance. Anything ephemeral is going to be important in a system of thought where material reality is
driven by these spiritual forces. But even the scientist of adjustment and common good will hold your dreams
against you from a sort of corrupted ethics. From the knowledge that the anxieties which keep us awake at
night often relate to social norms we’ve internalized or figures of authority we’re coerced to obey, their
solution is often also a call to conformity. Morality …everywhere.

For them, anything is better than atheism …the moralist doesn’t want “anarchy”! If someone is missing
their Stirnerian spooks, both the office of religion and the office of health will see to it that some spook finds them again. Studies find that religion can help with all sorts of psychological disorder …it may even be the only hope for the dreaded psychopath. The message is simple: the damn crazies need some sort of authority and if it can’t be internalized as a god or a super-ego, it must be applied externally with institutional force. Someone’s gotta get their sleep…

The funny thing about all of this is that these problems are what sleep deals with to begin with. There are two dream states: REM and nREM. The most contemporary studies of what our brains are using these states for show that one state deals with solving practical problems (such as learning a new skill) while the other state deals with solving emotional problems (such as how to resolve anxiety and stress related to a relative or lover). Living up to moral principals may deal with conflicts which emerge from having already adopted those principals, but it doesn’t deal with the problem of having those moral principals in the first place. People like simple and effective rules to live by and that is fine, but there’s a lot to be said for solving problems in this world instead of creating new problems in an other world to solve. I would rather have a difficult time sleeping because I’m trying to figure out how to make my life better in this society than have a difficult time sleeping because I’m trying to figure out how to make my afterlife better in a society of phantoms. Even worse, sleep well because I’m faithful and gullible enough to believe that I have already ensured a wonderful afterlife for myself.

I’m sure that there is plenty of money to be made peddling pseudoscientific narcotics, obsessive spiritual mantras, and entertaining stage performances where I would read the cold corpse of your mama …but, sleep is for the dead.

Resistance to Coolness


^Listen –

What does it mean to live in a world where you feel like you are driven to fucking pay someone to listen to your emotional shit and help you try and figure stuff out?

What does it mean to feel powerless against forces in your social life which consistently offer the basic message that your “baggage” is practically insufferable so the most considerate thing to do is keep your mouth shut?

What does it mean to be in conflict about the desire to respect other people’s decisions and the sentiments of outrage felt towards the way in which deep desires for acceptance, affection, and sympathy are suppressed in favor of “cool”?


Emo as a rebellious strand of hardcore which recognized the failures of Cool became a fucking pop-culture caricature similar to the history of Goth… but Cool had been around much longer. While the picture above may be misleading, I will quote from wikipedia (because I can):

The sum and substance of cool is a self-conscious aplomb in overall behavior, which entails a set of specific behavioral characteristics that is firmly anchored in symbology, a set of discernible bodily movementsposturesfacial expressions andvoice modulations that are acquired and take on strategic social value within the peer context.[3]

Cool was once an attitude fostered by rebels and underdogs, such as slaves, prisoners, bikers and political dissidents, etc., for whom open rebellion invited punishment, so it hid defiance behind a wall of ironic detachment, distancing itself from the source of authority rather than directly confronting it.[4]” –

In that quote is already enough to see how Cool is a method of flight as well as recuperation. A discipline for the Yuppy, Punk, Gangster, Anarchist, and Socialite alike. If it were only that, it would already be worth resisting. Yet here we are dancing with this rigid corpse! Tipping our hats to such a powerful force of psychological suppression!

Coolness might as well be a replacement term for Foucault’s docile bodies. It is at its best to eliminate all temptations to feel strong emotion and at its worst and most cowardly, to freeze the somatic expression of emotion: to posture statuesque. In opposition to so-called spazz , geek, dork, or in more contemporary terms anything too emo, Cool inserts into our shared social existence its shards of separation and self-absorbency. It interrupts the movement of emotive circulation, it atomizes and fuels displaced outbursts of destruction, and when it finally melts down into a cathartic experience the bonds which catharsis can produce quickly snap as the charade continues on. This is not the attitude of someone with a deep well of fulfillment (who would readily embrace the opportunity to spill over their joy into the lives of others). It’s the attitude of the individual trying to pretend like they’re not shivering in their boots.

Sure, it isn’t all of us… the Hippy wanted peace and love. They may have got the love right, but I definitely prefer the fiery rage.

Well, for those that resist Cool, I’ll offer something toasty….

If you’re not Cool, then maybe you’re fucking Hot!


Interview about Cross-Dressing


So I guess the community college paper is doing some article about cross-dressing and interviewing people who they think may have some insight into it? The interviewer is Mimi Wang. Anyway – it’s been a while, enjoy!

1. Why do you crossdress?

I have practical reasons and theoretical ones…

Practically, I crossdress because I have never thought that my physical features were well suited by what is often characterized as masculine fashion (in this country, for my class background, in this period of history). Crossdressing is less important to me than general aesthetic taste. I wouldn’t look bad in a well-tailored suit with a male actor’s manner of applying make-up: that’s just dandy to me. But, when I’m shopping at a thrift store I’m lucky if I can find clothing in the “men’s” section that fit or are at all appealing to my tastes. So the variety of style and the fit-to-form aspects of the “women’s” section draw me towards clothing designed for females. With the addition of make-up for both artistic expression and shock value, I’m crossdressing by most people’s standards. In my head, I’m just approaching attire from an aesthetic perspective instead of a utilitarian one or one that conforms to mainstream gender norms.

Theoretically, I totally reject contemporary notions of masculine and feminine. The ways in which gendered ideas about attire have developed are completely incoherent to me. To begin with, there is more than just two biological sexes and there isn’t a lack of cultures which have recognized this as a significant aspect of social roles, religious iconography, and attire. There are also dramatic inconsistencies when it comes to the ways in which different classes conceptualize masculinity and femininity in the West. The aristocratic concept of the masculine which was contrasted from the proletarian concept of the masculine is one example; powder, wigs, blush, extravagant outfits, more organic motions vs. overalls, jeans, various shirts (especially t-shirts), short hair, facial hair, lack of grace in motion [edit: or whatever was typical of proletarian men at the time – there’s more contemporary examples of this]. I think there’s a lot of evidence for ‘style’ in this sense being used for political purposes. This is all alongside the history of Patriarchy as well.

The contemporary differences between masculine and feminine are becoming less distinct even if there is still gender binaries dictating attire. A lot of this is also political: feminism, changing symbols of class status, changes in the manufacture of clothing, a general shift towards machismo, the hypersexualization of consumer culture. Then there’s the shifts in what is represented in the media as ideal male and female bodies; again, an organization of the masculine and feminine which moves more towards ideal representation being of physical and sexual power …with the ideal female appearing more like concepts of masculinity rooted in brute strength and the ideal male compensating the move by even more-so appearing brutish. [edit: There’s also back-lash and a lot of other stuff going on, but I wasn’t really trying to provide a total account here]

So what does it even mean to crossdress when there is so much inconsistency in the underlying concepts of gender to begin with?

2. What got you interested in crossdressing and when did you start? How have others reacted to your crossdressing?

I’ve always crossdressed. My parents ran a glamor photography studio and playing dress-up wasn’t discouraged. My sister was very intrigued with crossdressing so she had no problem encouraging me to play with clothing that would be considered feminine. What got me interested in crossdressing (or, more conscious of it) was probably the androgyny-in-denial of punk fashion [edit: sometimes in denial] and the open challenging of the gender binary by industrial and goth cultures. The reactions of my parents have been mixed but it’s really concerned them most when they consider how I’ve been treated in public or in the privacy of someone else’s homes or institutions. I’ve been in numerous street fights, fired from jobs, had the typical arrangement of drive-by insults (vocal and physical), have been banned from people’s homes, parents of lovers have often gone to great lengths to create situations for their children which put them in a struggle between winning their parent’s approval and maintaining a relationship with me. On the other hand, I’ve also been tokenized, seen as a novelty, met a lot of great people who genuinely respect my choices, admired by old counter-cultural types, and offered many creative opportunities.

3. Have you ever faced judgment or criticism for what you do? Do you have a specific experience that you would like to share?

I don’t know if I’ve faced more judgment or criticism than someone who doesn’t crossdress, in a sense. If the crossdresser is the symbol for what should not be done I just fit into a different role in the way identity is reinforced based on gender. When males [edit: and females] who don’t crossdress also don’t meet the gender performance expectations of their peers, they’re judged and criticized too. It’s the same basic social force… I just become the overt example of what is always covertly present in social life. I can definitely say I have been punished more for crossdressing than I would have been if I didn’t. As for specific experiences, I don’t want to repeat myself so I’ll just refer back to what I ended the last question’s response with.

4. Personally, why do you think that some people have a problem with crossdressing?

Sexuality. Most people I’ve talked to about it don’t care at all if crossdressing is on a stage and it is clear that the signifiers are potentially misleading. The problem almost always seems to be when someone imagines that they might wind up embarrassing themselves through sexual advances or have a generally heterosexist prejudice regardless of attire.

5. Women are typically free to wear what they want and men’s clothing are seen as being more unisex than women’s clothing (women have pantsuits, boyfriend jeans, etc). What are your views on the double standards of crossdressing?

Some of the double-standards probably have a much simpler explanation when it comes to the way females wear clothing designed for males. One of those – to be very blunt – is breasts. The most feminine outfits which are often reserved for females are specifically signifying their sexuality or conforming to traditional (rather than contemporary) femininity. Some of it is based on one of the leading ideal female bodies: thinness. So those two things already address the top half of an outfit (discounting head-wear): baby doll shirts, blouses, corset, tight jackets, spaghetti straps, etc. As for the bottom half …dresses and skirts, there’s still some background in sexuality. A long dress or skirt is conservative or traditional and the shorter they get the more the outfit is meant to lead the eye towards the sexual regions. Well, that just puts us back to a critique of Patriarchy: the female as passive sex object and the male as sexual aggressor. I’ve heard this admitted plenty of times from people who have problems with crossdressing, though in disguised terms. Saying things like, “why would he dress like that if he doesn’t want to be treated like a bitch?” or whatever sexist shit people come up with.

I mean, the point of the contemporary masculine dress code is to appear “alpha” and sometimes, to avoid any suggestion that you’re drawing attention to your features so you can attribute your sexual conquests to some interpersonal strategy …that you’re so “good with women” that it doesn’t matter how gross you look. I think that it’s less a double-standard and just more of the same old rugged individualist man objectifying women no matter what they wear.


[Responding to my answers, I was asked if I cross-dress on a daily basis. My answer was that I did for a number of years but for the past couple I haven’t. I didn’t really give much insight into why; but it’s because I threw out a lot of the clothing I liked when I downsized to travel, I haven’t found much when I’ve had money for clothing, I’ve been feeling pretty lazy and blocked when it comes to what I wear, and me and my hair haven’t been getting along. Not sure how much it matters how I’ve generally looked as of late since I don’t really feel like I’m violating some deep principal about presentation or anything. *shrugs*]

Here is the published article

Murder: A Guided Meditation (for inconsiderate audio)

Begins @ 28:40

This is a guided meditation to purify the root chakra

Close your eyes and get comfortable, it doesn’t matter how you’re sitting

We will begin shortly…

Notice your breath

The waves of universal energy flowing in through your nose

And out through your mouth

Feel the energy moving through you

Nurturing your whole body

Every muscle …every organ …every cell

You are a child of the cosmos
Let your legs relax

Your stomach and back

Your shoulders and arms

Your neck

And all of the tiney muscles in your face…
Take a few moments to just be


Begin to focus your divine attention on your paraneum

Imagine a white, pulsating orb of light growing in, around, and through your taint

Let it do the work of God, cleansing out all of the negative energy

Let it just fade away on its own and know that you are being watched over

By something much greater than yourself


We’re going to find a place now where you can experience your new self

Your higher self…


Let yourself be taken by this greater force into a small room

The air is still, television light flickering

Notice the person sitting next to you

Feel your empathic connection with them

They’re here to help you

Feel the layers of their being

The strong, mechanical motions of their body

The projection of their loving spirit

The stream of thoughts flowing through their consciousness…

They are talking to you

Words which seem to speak from the body

Shut off from the spirit and the consciousness

And you can’t understand what these words are

The words mean nothing to you
You can’t hear them, but they feel stupid


Notice your hands

They’re anxiously cradling a knife

It’s a knife you know …that feels like an old friend

And you’re staring at the idiot next to you, blathering


Take a moment to remember that you’re safe

The only things in the world are you
The room and the objects in it

This person next to you
And the admixture of dark and light energy

Tingling your senses


Now notice the layers of your being

As they begin to disappear

No more thinking

No outward cast of emotion filling the aether
Just your body… it’s itches, urges to move, vital kinetic power

And your eyes harden on the sight of the person next to you


Without thought

As they stare forward still talking to no one

Watch your hand gently slide the knife into the supple flesh of their neck

Feel the warm blood cooling as it washes over them

and feel their thoughts begin to swirl down and disappear

Into the excruciating pain of their spirit

While their ridiculess gestures and shrieks fill the room
Watch as the slowly die

And feel how step by step they stop existing as a person

Eventually, blending in with the other objects in the room

Cold, wet, ghastly – but just another object in the room

And notice now how alone you feel
As your throughts return to you

As you remember that you’ve been watched this entire time


All of the shame, guilt, discomfort, and dread you’ve ever know

It is now that it begins to spill into your awareness

Partially aware of your terrible deeds

But even more aware of your own mortality

Acutely aware of your extrordinary confusion…

You don’t know what to do now, with this thing

Should you clean it?

Should you hide it?

Do you know who it was that has been watching?

What will now happen to you?


Now take a few moments to be in this place

Afraid, useless, vulnerable

And when you are ready to come back

Let yourself be slowly carried away from the scene

Back into the room that you have been in this whole time

Back into your body

Your shallow, superficial thoughts

And your desires for mystical experiences


Take a minute to let your breathing slow down again

And then open your eyes to your mundane life
Keeping with you the empty sensation between your genetals and your asshole

Anarchism and the Martial Arts

The more I think about writing about this topic the more there is that I want to write about. So what I think I’m going to do with this is just write this progressively as I learn more through my own research and the responses I get; instead of attempting a full blown op-ed.

This question is difficult to answer because on the one hand, anarchists have somewhat diverse ethics about various issues relating to self-defense, biopolitics, violence, spirituality, and character virtues that would already be difficult to make many generalizations about. On the other hand, the Martial Arts is even more diverse on these same issues and numerous other ones. To survey both as much as possible in an essay would lead to an enormous text if it was taken to the finest nuance and detail that I could imagine. So I want to begin by making some important clarifications as to why this isn’t going to be that text and what to expect from this essay.

I am by no means an expert on the history of any martial art, the practice of any martial art, or even the practicality of many martial arts. However, I am (and for as long as I can remember) extremely interested in studying martial arts and have practiced a few: Kenpo Karate, Bujinkan Taijutsu (sometimes referred to as Budo Taijutsu or Ninpo Taijutsu), a bit of Judo, and an even lesser bit of Kung Fu. Since I began to formulate my own ethical principals more, my approach to the martial arts has changed and I have found it rather difficult to weight the next MA I want to train in by these principals. I think that this would be an important place to begin for other anarchist and anti-authoritarian revolutionaries as well.

Some Problems

Measuring Stick: There are many reasons why someone may decide to take up martial arts. Some of the more common reasons seem to be for the exercise, developing confidence and skill in one’s ability to defend themselves/others/stuff, for an authoritarian job (military, police, security, etc.), sport, fascination and enthusiasm, and let’s be honest …to be a more fierce asshole. So what’s in it for anarchists?

  • Self-defense: This one seems obvious to me but I can’t say that it is really the biggest concern for any other anarchists based on the amount of self-defense workshops or group meet-ups that focus on martial arts training. At the same time, I wouldn’t go so far as to say that there isn’t an interest or even a large number of anarchists that take up a martial art (or have) outside the context of anarchist struggle. Ethically, I do think that it is a good idea to at least explore the limits and capacities that one has to defend themselves in a fairly antagonistic if not outright power-driven society. There is a link between the capacity to free expression and having an ability to do so without worrying about various people trying to kick your ass for it. There is also numerous reasons for those who are persecuted based on their race, sex, sexuality, religious background, and other identifying traits to learn how to defend themselves.


  • Self-empowerment: I think that the issue of self-empowerment or rather, the sense of self-empowerment that some people claim to derive from the practice of a martial art has as much of a chance to prove detrimental as it does psychologically beneficial. Some instruction and instructors have a nasty habit of hyping up what they’re teaching and then the application of the techniques (which may suck or just may have not been trained to efficiency) winds up creating a worse situation for someone than would otherwise be the case. Naivety, especially about what exactly could go drastically wrong with the application of many martial arts techniques (in a street situation) isn’t worth the self-confidence that may come with it. I think what martial arts ought to make abundantly clear is how fragile and easily injured our bodies are, that you’re likely not going to be fighting someone with the same training (or any, they may just use a weapon on you), and that even if you have “the deadly” down …retaliation from people that may be a hell of a lot less ethical than you are isn’t too strange. A sense of purpose, achievement, and self-improvement that can come from playing any sport can make just as many claims to self-empowerment as the martial arts as well.
  • Group defense: A lot of martial arts may concern themselves with how to defend oneself against a group of attackers (and they ought to advice flight first), but hardly any that I am aware of really focus on how to work together as a group. In a sense, an affinity group that trains together may be able to work well together as a group… but this isn’t because there is any sort of tactical training for groups inherent in many arts. Team sports, paint-ball, game theory, etc. – this is the stuff of working together as a tactical unit to accomplish a goal. Some people don’t think of the SCA (society for creative anarchronisms) as a martial art, but at least for this purpose of tactical group stuff, it seems to be very applicable to what could be the needs of an affinity group (or even larger collectives).
  • Flight (Parkour): RAAN covers this well enough. I’ll link to their stuff on the issue; but, I do want to make one point. What makes more sense… getting into a match with thugs in a uniform who probably have better weapons and training than you; or, out-maneuvering them if you think you or your comrades may be put in their cross-hairs? Yes, there are many situations that I will not elaborate on where direct, physical confrontation with thugs in uniforms may be a goal worth the risks (and, by “thugs in uniforms” I mean that non-specific to the cops – I mean neo-nazis and all sorts of scum here).
  • Revolutionary applicability: I’m not ready to fill in this section but at this point, the applicability of many martial arts to what I imagine as contemporary revolutionary activities fall a bit short of the bar. Learning Krav Maga, studying police training manuals, and other such stuff that will provide some good insight into what we’re up against is definitely applicable. But really, it’s going to be a lot of other stuff outside the purview of what is generally taught as a martial art that will be applicable, imo. I’m not saying that martial arts training has no benefits for revolutionaries (far from it); but, in the long run I’d have to say that whatever martial skill is incorporated into various revolutionaries’ arts – it won’t look like anything you’ll find in a gym or a dojo.
  • Other ethical considerations: more on this later


psychological (perceptual changes, learned perspectives of the Other, mind-body dichotomy/objectification, outward perception, conception of pain, orientation to violence, etc.) and physical (posture, flexibility, cardiovascular, energy efficient motion, endurance, etc.)

Metaphysics: various traditions… Zen, Shinto, Chivalry, etc. (being a martial arts master probably shouldn’t motivate one’s practice of spiritual traditions.

Style: hard, soft, mixed – Western, Eastern, MMA, etc.

Training: aliveness, peer-to-peer or workshop stuff, gyms, rip-offs, instructor credibility (and what that means), ranking systems, etc.

Legal Issues:

  • Registration of body parts as lethal weapons: This is actually a huge myth. Boxers and other martial artists do not have to “register” their body parts as lethal weapons.

The following are commonly spoken words that are often misunderstood. Because they relate to physical confrontation, you, as a martial artist, should have a clear understanding of each of them.

CITIZEN’S ARREST: This is the act of one person (citizen) placing another person under arrest when the citizen observes that person committing a criminal act. You do this at your own risk. If you are wrong, or if you did not actually observe the person committing a crime, you may be liable for false imprisonment. In most jurisdictions, the citizen invoking the arrest will be listed as an arresting officer, and law enforcement is legally required to take an arrested suspect into custody even if they feel the arrest is unjustified. Citizen’s arrest should only be done as a last resort to prevent the alleged criminal from “fleeing the scene” after committing a crime.

ASSAULT: The intentional creation of apprehension of immediate harm to another. It is not a threat of some future, but a threatened immediate harm. Any non-lethal violence that does not involve substantial risk of death will be an assault. You don’t have to actually touch someone, only make them think that was your intention. The degree of assault varies upon instrumentality, numbers, or difference in ability to inflict harm to someone else. For instance, shot at with a gun, the swing of a bat, or some other attempted serious act to harm.

BATTERY: Any unwanted touching. The harmful or offensive touching of someone with the intent to harmfully or offensively touch. Simply grabbing a person in an argument, for example, may be sufficient to constitute battery. The contact doesn’t necessarily have to cause pain or injury. Examples of battery are harsh grabbing or pushing. The common defense to battery charges are: the right to self defense, reasonable touching, consent, implied consent, accident, mistake, and no intent.

GOOD SAMARITAN: The defense of others. You have the right to defend someone who in turn has the legal right to defend themselves but for some reason they cannot or will not defend themselves. If you have made a reasonable mistake of fact, you might still be able to plead defense of others, but not always. The use of non-physical de-escalation skills while law enforcement personnel are on the way is the wisest choice. Be a good witness.

EXCESSIVE FORCE: The use of continued use of retaliatory strikes when the threat is no longer immediate. For martial artists, an act may be considered retaliatory even if it followed the underlying assault by seconds. Reasonable force under assault circumstances is a difficult matter to judge with any accuracy. If you use excessively force, you can be charged with a crime. If law enforcement has probable cause to believe you used excessive force, you will probably be placed under arrests even if you were lawfully defending yourself.

MANSLAUGHTER: “Involuntary” manslaughter is when a person is killed by another unintentionally as a result of recklessness or gross negligence. “Voluntary” manslaughter is when a person is killed by another upon a sudden quarrel or in the heat of passion.

STATUTORY RAPE: Actually called FELONIOUS INTERCOURSE, is having sex with someone under the age of consent. The age of consent varies from state to state and can be as young as 16 years old, but 18 years old is the generally accepted minimum age of consent.

SELF DEFENSE: The right to defend yourself with as much force as required to ensure your safety. The critical elements to keep in mind are:

1) the defense must be necessary – no other way out,

2) the force used must be reasonable under the circumstances.


The defense must be necessary. In order for the defense to be necessary, you must be protecting yourself from:

  • Imminent harm by unlawful physical assault. If the harm is not imminent, you do not have the right to use force.

  • Sexual assault.

  • Unlawful detention.

  • You must be in danger at the present time and not threatened with some future harm.

  • You may not retaliate for some past harm or attempted harm.

If you use EXCESSIVE FORCE, you can be charged with a crime. If law enforcement has probable cause to believe you used excessive force, you will most likely be placed under arrest even if the initial self-defense is permitted.


An example of this is as follows:

Someone points a toy gun or an unloaded gun at you in a threatening manner and you use defensive tactics on that person believing they could have and would have shot you, self-defense would apply.

The more innocent the person or unreasonable your belief, the less likely self-defense would still apply.


Most states have laws against the classical “let’s step outside” routine for a challenge match. Unless there are rules and the match is akin to a sporting event, both parties may be guilty of a crime.


The use of certain martial arts weapons is illegal in many states. California, in particular, has zero tolerance with regard to the use of the BO STAFF, NUNCHAKU, ESCRIMA STICK, KAMAS, TONFA, NINJA STARS, BUTTERFLY KNIVES, etc. The whole gamut of Martial Art weaponry is on the DO NOT USE list.

Never use these weapons to defend anyone or anything. If you use any Martial Art weapon outside of a licensed Martial Art school, you are committing a felony, which is a serious crime punishable by one year or more in prison. Using illegal weaponry of any kind will often get you into more trouble that the criminal against whom you used it!

This is the primary reason we DO NOT teach weapons as a means of self-defense. As a martial artist, it’s better to rely upon your empty hand skills if you must resort to physically defending yourself or coming to the defense of others.

TRESPASS TO LAND: Basically, this is coming onto someone’s land without right or permission. Emergencies allow people on land and some people have the right to enter, such as police, postal service, UPS, etc. If someone comes onto land and approaches a door, that is not trespass. If an uninvited person is on your property, you have the right to ask them to leave, and if they don’t you should inform them that they are now trespassing and call law enforcement. You may not physically remove the person or persons from your property.


Personal property can be defined as anything without a soul. Automobiles, luggage, clothing, money, tools, etc.

Using force to protect/defend property is generally frowned on by the law. The amount of force you use to protect property must be minimal, and generally speaking, progressive. You can’t start by breaking someone’s arm because they picked up your jacket at a restaurant.

You can avoid problems in almost all jurisdictions by first making verbal contact, then moving to physically prevent the person from leaving with or harming your property WITHOUT striking them; and then moving on to holds, pain compliance techniques, or other non-lethal methods or protecting your property.


Defending your home is another matter entirely. If you are trying to keep someone out of your home or office or business, you normally have the right to use some degree of force to eject them. Physically pushing someone out will not normally result in any liability. If the person uses force to gain entry, or if there is a probable danger of the person harming any of the occupants, then the amount of force used may be higher. Once the person leaves, you may not use any additional force except that which applies to citizen’s arrest.


Repo man: If the repo man is taking your automobile, you cannot legally stop him from doing his job.

Landlord: If your landlord is coming into your apartment or rented home and has the right to do so under the conditions of your lease, you may not use force to prevent him from doing so.


California Penal Code 422: Any person who willfully threatens to commit a crime which will result in death or great bodily injury to another person, with the specific intent that the statement made verbally, in writing, or by means of an electronic communication device, is to be taken as a threat, even if there is no intent of actually carrying it out, which, on its face and under the circumstances in which it is made, is so unequivocal, unconditional, immediate, and specific as to convey to the person threatened a gravity of purpose and an immediate prospect of execution of the threat, and thereby causes that person reasonably to be in sustained fear for his or her own safety or for his or her immediate family’s safety, shall be punished by imprisonment in the county jail not to exceed one year, or by imprisonment in the state prison.

For the purpose of this section, “immediate family” means any spouse, whether by marriage or not, parent, child, any person related by consanguinity or affinity within the second degree, or any other person who regularly resides in the household, or who, within the prior six months, regularly resided in the household.

“Electronic communication device” includes, but is not limited to, telephones, cellular telephones, computers, ipod, zune, video recorders, fax machines, or pagers. “Electronics communication” has the same meaning as the term defined in subsection 12 of Section 2510 of Title 18 of the United States Code.


  •  yadda yadda…

The above are the areas I am going to be focusing on to whatever extent I am able to over the next while.



Critique of The Zeitgeist Movement: Observations and Responses; Activist Orientation Guide (turned into me not giving a shit enough to finish a formal critique)

This is one of many documents produced by (or, for) The Zeitgeist Movement. While the cinematic media spread on the internet is for merely introductory purposes, the details tend to be in various documents: FAQs, transcripts of Jacque Fesco’s lectures, and programmatic outlines such as the one I am going to be critiquing. A point I will further expand on later, but that is worth mentioning here, is how authoritarian this movement really is. In order for a registered user of their official website to create content in the forums (new topics or even comments), they must take a multiple-choice quiz until they pass. Every time the user fails the quiz they are directed to a series of documents (the one I am critiquing being one of them) from which the questions where drawn. Even after this process of testing, the content in the forums is heavily moderated. So I will begin my critique on this point of authoritarianism; conveniently, a noteworthy aspect of the preface to this document.


“The Zeitgeist Movement is the activist arm of The Venus Project, which constitutes the life long work of industrial designer and social engineer, Jacque Fresco.” – The Zeitgeist Movement: Observations and Responses; Activist Orientation Guide

In the first line of the Preface to what could be called “The Zeitgeist Movement Manifesto”, it is already made perfectly clear that this movement takes a hierarchical form. Like Freud, Marx, Lenin, Stalin, Mao, or Chairman Bob; Jacque Fesco is the severed head of an intelligentsia, delivering his wisdom unto a subordinated class of political agents. Just as the others, he shapes the discourse of the movement: what are the problems, what are the movement’s values, and what is to be done. In order for us to transform our society (for our own good), the Preface says that we must first “understand who we are, where we are, what we have, what we want, and how we are going to obtain our goals”. Assuming that we don’t understand any of this, we can rest assured that the Manifesto will tell us. How are we to know that we aren’t being manipulated? Because “simply put, what The Venus Project represents and what The Zeitgeist Movement hence condones, could be summarized as: ‘The Application of The Scientific Method for social concern.’ Did B.F. Skinner write these lines? Or, was it Engles? Or …was it the fascist wing of the Futurist Movement?

The Activist Orientation Guide is broken into 5 parts. The first 4 parts contain two chapters each and the 5th part contains a concluding chapter. Each chapter is further broken down into subsections to neatly orientate the prospective activist.

Part 1: Monetary Economics

Part 2: What is Relevant?

Part 3: A Resource-Based Economy

Part 4: Overcoming Mythology

Part 5: Taking Action

…you know: I was going to finish writing this… but I think the following half debate in response to my last TZM/TVP related post is sufficient….

“-” prior to the quoted text indicates that this is not my writing but the portion of argument that I am responding to beneath.

I am currently in the process of writing a more detailed and coherent analysis of TZM – but I will just respond point-for-point right now since that work isn’t completed.

– “In effort to reply, need to sum up. Your anger seems to have led you off any focused point that supports this articles title… :O”

I think the title is about as unfocused and angry as the post – tbh, I don’t like this writing of mine to much myself ;P

– “To try to sum up, you’re against TZM & TVP because a relatively small number in the group of over 500K mis-associate anarcho-capitalism with anarchy? Or that they don’t fit into your narrow view of what a movement should accomplish? Something like that? Found it hard to tell from the article (might just be me).”

No – this is incorrect. One of my major concerns with TZM and TVP is that the organizational structure is authoritarian. This conflicts with some of my fundamental principals that also happen to be some of the principals of anarchism.

“The Zeitgeist Movement is the activist arm of The Venus Project, which constitutes the life long work of industrial designer and social engineer, Jacque Fresco.” – The Zeitgeist Movement: Observations and Responses; Activist Orientation Guide

In the first line of the Preface to what could be called “The Zeitgeist Movement Manifesto”, it is already made perfectly clear that this movement takes a hierarchical form. Like Freud, Marx, Lenin, Stalin, Mao, or Chairman Bob; Jacque Fesco is the severed head of an intelligentsia, delivering his wisdom unto a subordinated class of political agents. Just as the others, he shapes the discourse of the movement: what are the problems, what are the movement’s values, and what is to be done. In order for us to transform our society (for our own good), the Preface says that we must first “understand who we are, where we are, what we have, what we want, and how we are going to obtain our goals”. Assuming that we don’t understand any of this, we can rest assured that the Manifesto will tell us. How are we to know that we aren’t being manipulated? Because “simply put, what The Venus Project represents and what The Zeitgeist Movement hence condones, could be summarized as: ‘The Application of The Scientific Method for social concern.’ Did B.F. Skinner write these lines? Or, was it Engles? Or …was it the fascist wing of the Futurist Movement?

– “Then you go on to suppose things that are not true, easily provable as such, make vague suggestion to connections where there are none, and make numerous calls to tired-old anarchy verbiage, without providing any supporting evidence. Hard to reply to your argument, when you don’t support it with facts. Not an insult, just a statement.”
Anyway, for the points you do succeed in making, let’s address them one by one:”

Fair Enough

– “[quote]“The Z-Movement folk seem to be terribly soft on radical issues of the State (war opposition is chump change),”[/quote]
Examples? Any number of definitions are possible here. State your terms if you want a learned reply.”

There is a long history of what could be broadly thought of as socialist, anti-authoritarian, or anti-capitalist debate and one of the major areas of disagreement in that history is on the question of the State. Considering that TZM analysis concerns itself with very similar economic issues, one would think there would also be a strong position taken on how TZM is to interact with, align itself towards, or otherwise position itself in relationship to the State (in this case, the capitalist state: the governmental apparatus or superstructure that consists of, among other institutions, the Judicial System, Compulsory Education, Police, the Military, the various electoral systems, Political Parties, Welfare, etc.). The debate over this relationship towards the State is fundamental to the divisions between Marxist-Leninists/Stalinists, Anarchists, Social Democrats, various forms of liberal parties, etc. For example, revolutionaries of the traditional Left (Communists, Anarchists, etc.) were divided on the issue of whether State power ought to be usurped and used to transform society “from above”, or abolished along with capitalism through a popular revolution “from below”. The debates between Marx and Engles, Proudhon, Bakunin, and such clearly illustrate this point. On the other hand, the Left also has a tradition of reformist (or, non-revolutionary) ideologies. Reformists on the Left (liberals, in other words) suppose that a desirable socialism can be achieved through elections. So where does TZM align itself on this question? Well, clearly they are in favor of a radical transformation of political and economic life. But, is this to be done through out-designing the ruling class, through education, through a general strike and expropriation of the means to production, etc.? Perhaps I have not looked in the proper places, but I haven’t seen anything to convince me that TVP/TZM has taken these issues very seriously. Is TZM going to form a political party and attempt to realize the ideals of TVP through political power? Is TZM going to agitate for research and development to go in the directions they idealize and hope that the technologies and such they agitate for will be realized through the market or State funding (through the University, corporate subsidies, etc.)? Is TZM an advocate of the literal abolition of private property (expropriating technology and other forms of wealth from the small percentage of the population who currently owns it and uses it for the accumulation of more wealth, to fund their political agenda, etc.)? Is TZM going to organize a militia and instead of a direct expropriation of wealth from the ruling class via factory take-overs and such, overthrow the ruling parties and install some bureaucracy to oversee the development of circular cities and other such VP designs? Basically, what is the position towards the State? Is it liberal, authoritarian, anti-authoritarian, etc.? The answer is crucial because if TZM criticizes capitalist economics and yet does not have any strategy what-so-ever for doing anything but taking advantage of private production and investment in the means of production to gear the material conditions of society towards its own visions, there are some serious questions to be raised about whether this would produce a ‘nicer capitalism’ or really lead to a radical change in the material conditions and social relations of society.

– “[quote]“on issues of social change (direct action, protest, organizational structure, and other basic points of contention amongst revolutionaries),”[/quote] & [quote]“I’ve never seen any presentation of Z-Movement anything at major demonstrations against the same institutions they claim to be against.”[/quote]
Think you might do well to better understand basic TZM & TVP’s priorities. To help, we’re not about protests or using the system to usurp the system, we’re not about hierarchical structures of relatively charming people, and we’re not about revolution for the sake of revolution (though the ideas could be called that). Your claims otherwise indicate to me that you haven’t really done your research (again, not an insult, just an observation). This is basic RBE 101 stuff really.”

Ok, so what’s the plan? Whatever TZM/TVP’s priorities are (as far as technological, social, and economic ideals are), what does the movement do or plan to do? I’ve been on the mailing list for a few years now and for the most part, I only receive e-mails about new lectures and such from TVP elite. Obviously TZM isn’t about protests, electoral politics, or a traditional revolutionary strategy …but what really separates TZM from, say or some other cultural project of so called education, to inform me that the means of production (technology) are improving and can solve many of the problems in main stream discourse? I don’t see much of a difference. What this amounts to, in my opinion, is exactly using the system to usurp the system. It is relying on activist campaigns to educate people who then may …what, vote for different politicians, spend their money differently, etc.? On the other hand, if the concept is for TZM to be offering up possibilities for some post-capitalist/revolutionary society …why are the people who are producing the most effective propaganda alienating themselves from the revolutionary left? This is a contradiction, in my opinion. And, the emphasis on distancing themselves from the Left (revolutionary or not) in their videos, in the FAQ, etc. leaves me to conclude this is a strategic political move.

“[quote]“and when pushed on how their technological solutions would not be a technocratic solution (or some sort of global, centralized, computerized system for administrating the distribution of goods and organizing production) they seem to become even more vague by the word.”[/quote]
Do you fear hammers because they might be used to kill instead of build? The global cybernetic system is a tool to maximize efficiency in goods & production, so that’s what it does. It’s not some scary hollywood-style “terminator”, that’s going to take over or be imposed on people. That’s kid’s stuff. It’s true, such a system could be usurped if focused attention is not made, but it would be painfully obvious if it gets that far. You fail to recognize or acknowledge the simple absence of “gain” in any such attempt to usurp, probably based on some misunderstandings about human behavior.”

What are you talking about here? Of course I do not fear hammers or other technologies. A technocratic system isn’t simply a system that relies on high-level technologies. It is a system where power is accumulated into the hands of those who design technologies: in other words, people like Jacque Fresco. The concern isn’t a strange one since Jacque Fresco was a technocrat for a period of time. I’m not so sure how he has moved on. It isn’t a problem of human behavior, either. It is a problem of knowledge production (or, Knowledge-Power as Foucault would refer to it) and the nature of Design. While science informs (technological) design and technology increases the capacities for scientific investigation, there is a significant difference. Design requires planning, basically. It requires the decisions of someone (or in the case of a highly advanced cybernetic system, something). These decisions are not objective… they are heavily dependent on preferences and values. So the answer to this problem is allowing everyone to participate in this part of the design process, right? Am I wrong or isn’t that the ideal of TVP/TZM? Individuals and collectives somehow input their preferences and values into the cybernetic system and the system takes care of the rest through automation? Ok, well that isn’t technocratic but in GETTING THERE …where is power? Well, if you look at TZM itself, most of the power is in the hands of TVP: a technocratic elite. Will TVP or whoever the privileged elite are that design technology until that point of full automation be willing to give up that power? Will “the state whither away” so to speak? Or, will it be a new Marxist-Leninist totalitarianism with a TZM member in every factory, making sure that the work gets done to produce TVP’s society …death to those who revolt?

“What amazes me most about your obvious fear here, and this is a personal point, is your reaction. When you see potential deficiencies in a system that aligns itself in many ways with your own philosophy, rather than work to shore up against the deficiency & contribute, you instead rail against it.”

This shouldn’t amaze you. It was Lenin who used anarchist slogans (“all power to the free soviets”) and then murdered anarchists who tried to protect the free soviets. Anarchists were cautious about Communists but over and over again, when they allied with Communists (who shared many values and ideas with anarchists), they were used for the insurrection and killed in the terror. This is revolutionary history. In many ways, anarchists and people of TZM share similar values… sure. But those values aren’t all that rare, nor are they a good reason for alliance. If TVP is already producing propaganda against anarchists and misrepresenting them in a similar way that Marx and Engles (and Lenin and others) did, why shouldn’t I be suspicious? Further, the argument can be pointed back towards TVP/TZM – based on historical significance alone, why isn’t TVP/TZM making serious efforts to study revolutionary history and contemporary radical theory, bring up real issues with them in debate, and such? At least I’ll dignify TVP/TZM with a proper argument, even if it is a poorly informed one. Where in the world is TVP/TZM dignifying contemporary revolutionaries by taking them seriously and meeting with them in the streets, the squats, the infoshops, and all the rest to discuss commonalities and differences? I suspect practically nowhere (though it claims to be a global movement, as anarchism already is and always has been). No, instead I ought to notice the spectacular media TVP/TZM produces and then read the literature, pass a test to post in the forums, and such as though they are some established, elite, beacon of truth that has come down to save all of us revolutionaries from our ignorance?

– “Your behaviour in this is purely cultural, and I sincerely hope you get to grow to the point where you realize that helping each other is the only effective path to social change. Maybe teamwork lessons were not taught in your school? Every man for himself is better somehow? Sorry, natural & scientific data is against this thinking.”

I’m not sure what your argument is here but there is a very big difference between mutual aid in social struggle (or social change) and the criticism of ideas and organizational structures. I’m not sure what your assumptions are about my educational background, my understanding of human psychology, or my understanding of contemporary research but it doesn’t fit with the statement you are making above.

– “Maybe it’s just that you don’t tend to relate to people, have since learned to dislike people, and never really learned to work as a team, and so identify yourself strongly with your interpretation of anarchy? I don’t know
Modern expressions of anarchy, sort of reminds me of that Bill Hick’s bit about “the people who hate people party” haha:

Elaborate please. I’d like to know how you come to the conclusion that whatever behavior you are referring to is an expression of anarchist theory or practice …and not modernism. This is a fallacy of false cause, imo. Please tell me how the organizations that anarchists create together are somehow outside your concept of so called team work.

– “Otherwise, hmm… ok you’re kind-of angry, we get it. You identify yourself as anarchist, ok, we get it.”


“Now what? What solutions do you have?
To say, the world’s social-economic problems will not be resolved by anger, use of expletives, or “do whatever you want” philosophies that have failed to catch on for centuries.”

Two of these questions are entirely relative to the audience that one is intending to write for. Anger and the use of expletives does appeal to some people and socio-economic problems are often approached by people who are angry about them and use expletives. Your comment is a reduction to absurdity regardless. The use of expletives and angry sentiments are not presented as solutions to socio-economic problems. As far as the use of anger and expletives in a rambling criticism of TZM and TVP – I think it is appropriate. The voice, structure, and content of the post is explicitly concerned with why TZM/TVP angers me, personally and I am not going to falsify the reality of my anger by editing out expletives. The third question is a straw man and I’m not going to dignify it with a response.

“I agree we’ll eventually shift to society with less government, and indeed even identified myself as anarchist at one time, (though would never bandy it about as something fashionable as this blog seems to do), then I grew up.”

You’re still growing up (hopefully) and arguing that anarchist identity is a matter of maturity is basically worthless. I’d suggest to you one of contemporary psychology’s favorite authors, Abraham Maslow (developmental psychologist – sort of has a lot of clout on the issues of maturity, growth, and total human development). He has some rather contrary things to say about this issue in his work “The Farther Reaches of Human Nature”. To put it simply, he argues exactly the opposite: that anarchist values and principals (among other things) are about as mature as he could imagine. This is the guy who invented the hierarchy of human needs – yeah, pro-anarchist. As far as the predominance of anarchist-related material on this blog… if you didn’t notice, this blog is part of a much larger website:

I don’t know if it is just me, but I’d feel somewhat foolish writing blogs that are part of an anarchist project without a predominance of anarchist-related verbiage, aesthetic, and such.

– “Without a non-exploitative equal-access system of production that empowers each and every person on this planet, we’ll kill each other.:

Sure, I agree with that statement enough …except any implication that we would cease to kill each other because the basic structure of our economic systems change.

– “I contend, Anarchy has failed to adequately make their case, or address any relevant social issues and that’s having had plenty of time (centuries?) to do so. What’s the excuse? Oh its the fault of the or it’s really the to blame!!!”

And you are measuring success and relevance by what yard-stick? I don’t need an excuse because I don’t accept the premise. Capitalism and the State-form have been status quo for a few centuries so this argument could be made against any competing ideology, interests, philosophy, etc. Anarchists haven’t accomplished what they want but they also haven’t set any time limit. The revolutions of the 20th century in total didn’t abolish economic class nor the State. Social struggle is a struggle.

– “I say, stop playing other people’s games (like protesting, or the blame-game), and instead take command of what affect you can have. Maybe instead of creatively labeling things on your path to destruction, you can instead “work” to make the-powers-that-be irrelevant and help solve our collective social resource issues? Start at your home?
No? Well clearly, it’s time for new ideas and new understandings (that encompass old ideas where they have failed) that embrace our current technological paradigm.”

You’re not familiar with what I advocate, so I forgive you for the assumptions above but they are really off base. A good example of a small part of what I consider to be legit anarchist work is the Seattle Solidarity Network. Some things I think would be effective in North America are: tenants associations and rent strikes, solidarity networks like SeaSol, the creation of public/social space and the defense of public/social spaces from privatization (like a local park being bought up by a corporation), etc. At the same time, I am only talking about North America. This would require a debate that I am not enthusiastic to have with you…

As far as “our” current technological paradigm goes, it more an issue of private ownership of this technology (and intellectual capital) than it is an issue of whether or not technological advancements are embraced. Again, my problem with TZM/TVP is not that they demonstrate how the means of production can not be used to their full capacity by the contemporary modes of production. I’d make the same argument myself. But, the current technological paradigm is not something so consistent. There are huge debates about intellectual property, free and open source software, net neutrality, and such. I’d feel much more comfortable arguing that of the multiple technological paradigms that exist today, it is important to emphasize that the same old problems of privatization and productive capitalism exist and will continue to exist because it is the capitalist class that mostly invests in the development of new technologies (because those new technologies benefit that class) – while me, and likely you …work to build, maintain, use, and provide content for these technologies. Communications tech is a great example of capitalist accumulation with the current mergers and the precarious nature of many call center jobs. As just one example, what does TZM/TVP have in mind for how to deal with the privatization and privileging of use of Comm Tech? Is Anonymous supported by TZM/TVP? Are the communications workers’ unions even supported by TZM/TVP? Talk about irrelevant…

– “A Resource Based Economy is one such path.

Thanks for reading this far :)

A good debate is always nice.

Link Rattle

Links to some of the things I’ve been reading lately:

Proprioception – Continuing my research into phenomenology (sort of an ongoing thing for me)

The Alexander Technique – This has come up a number of times as something that could be beneficial for some pain shit I deal with but is more interesting to me in relation to the above.

Ecopsychology and Ecophenomenology – Not really new to me but I tend to use wikipedia as a sort of launch-pad to sprout out from when investigating something… for instance:

Interpretive Phenomenological Analysis – So maybe I’m a bit obsessed?

But just one more: Six Claims about Embodied Cognition

There’s plenty of other stuff, these are just things I had bookmarked to eventually write something on these topics – as if I have the patience or sort of academic fortitude to put together the type of essay I would like to! lol

Purple Works

Here is some writing I had done 3-6 years ago that I consider to be “purple” and somewhat enjoy reading every now and again. They are experimental explorations of sentiment and irrationality. The topics ought not to be taken as an endorsement of anything I had or do now idealize. Enjoy!

Purple Works

Unpublished Writing

Ode to Bane

Glorious Bane which forever breaks me: I pry open the dramatically plumped lining of my lips to give you this oration. You Muse of Painters and Idol of Poets; with your golden classic sunset smile… creature of flight, bringer of plight and pleasure alike! Your beauty is burned into my mind… You have stolen my word against you – my thoughts of days after you’ve been slain – now I cheer with you. Together we foul my worth! Together at last in the hate of my body; put together sloppy and sadly driven by primal denials: we celebrate this stale mating!

Wonderful Bane… who without clouds the goal of death: I purse and pinch my puckered lips to kiss you. Silhouette of my slumbers who has gained true color: vivid, vital, and lucid – you have provided solution in truce. In this dry moment I mutter every measure of my marvel, so seriously, the glamour is devoured above your brow where you gaze. And in so many ways I am defeated. I am burned and I boil. I bubble and cool into a melted mush of meaninglessness: somewhere between your legs I slither when you call “come hither”. My eyes are sharp pain produced by your flecks of bright judgments, bringing a blindness I never knew when strewn in rivers of hazed memory.

For you are the Bane of bane: banal in the first, until the last… unto forever!

You are my window

My prayer

A sin which I realize in vision

Fleshed out Succulent


And when my Ego becomes its largest you are still bigger

Enough for my embrace by you

Consumed into your face

Which smiles

As I spill sounds and frowns with my mouth’s motions…


I contend …with “Clarity”: the crystalline aesthetic vision which buries complicated thoughts in matte shines on white walls …and Bauhaus furnishings. Glass Shrines …must have cracks to imprint on my mind. Why? Because what I enjoy is the feeling of Being… overcome. Not in a masochistic fashion (let us not reduce all consciousness to neurosis for once). Overcome by experience! The victory of sensation, the conquest of saturation and stimulation! And no, I am not referring here to Over-whelming. There is too much the sense of Satiation from this mode of perception which I enjoy. I am saying, what I want is the beauty of precision and pristine, mathematical elegance. The very thing which an ascetic avoids, I seek: the synthetic marvel of everything. I achieve this… and the fore from sentiment is pervasive. You may know if it though observations of a pious man’s painterly master-pieces… but not in this generalized manner, not lived!

Perhaps this devilish alternative to grace may suit your mentality more, too.

You may have seen it (…or felt it) whilst witness of surrealist compositions, childhood collages, or poetry; perhaps, even in Catholic iconography (its stained glass, and pagan statues). These Catholic artists must have understood the taste for compartmentalized glass works… in theory (subconscious ….shown with aesthetic preferences, opposed to the Doctrine). This indeed is “bliss” but far, far removed from tranquility: a pleasure akin to humorous cross-references; in fact, it is humor. The passion for complexity, for the extravagant …it may just be the polar opposite of ‘No Mind’.

Imagine not the Neither-Neither, but…

…Filling consciousness with imagery – Thoughts, spilling over the skull’s brim into action and also, into everywhere else. I guess we could too, call this “bliss”; but instead, what if we merely called it …”Life”? We can proselytize with a vision of the ‘Soul Involved’… the joy of incarnate, embodied ideas – of Art. We could dance with the Myriad of Everything! Moving as many interdependent muses and swirling, atmospheric forms! If the Buddhist finds unity through transcendence of space and time… we will have found it through the embrace of these same dimensions. It will be pantheistic and perhaps Hindu, Voodoo, Chaoo…

Of course, the emptiness… the Nothingness; it is only a back-step away. To switch to-and-fro, from the Void to the Abyss… each with a “bliss”: that may be the real trick!

Strategy in movement among these two states (while being more or less aware of them): is there anything else to religions …to meditations and contemplations? And, had the Masters truly found Gods betwixt? Or, highly refined beasts? Are the doctrines really speaking of Divine Beings …Angels, and Demons? Or, are these stories a simple variation with-in of one large Bestiary of the Psyche? Can we expect more from Abraham than Jung? These grand treatments consistently break down the Moods; picking and choosing which of their psychotic manifestations to venerate and exacerbate. These categories of psychology and mysticism: emotions, actions, symbols, and of course …their relations. Whether the Seer’s genius calls to take favor of the mystic lot or denounce it, there we find the difference in Mono or Poly Theism, Prayer or Meditation, Desire or Transcendence, Magic or Miracle, and as well: who is the Responsible.

The Atomic-Molecular-Chemical-Organelle-Skeletal-Neurological formulae of Science must even contend with Ghosts in our Machines. The Empirical Mind must forever Analyze: cutting smaller, with incisions deeper, until Nothing is left (except a possible Truth, which will still be an Idea …and Ideal). One may wish to plan an Escape …but to plot a path on the map, one must still avoid wakes in theoretical lakes: Evolutionary struggle. To Escape is to struggle maintaining a vain posture against Death …who eternally awaits at the Ocean’s ledges (as Escape’s ultimate destination). With strict Materialism also, there is a choice of what to take, and what to leave. Criticism restricts a moderate stance with its demand for proof. And, just as quickly as a mystics mind is melted, burning through its own Images… a scientist will whither from the blizzard of data and fact. Neither gather from a safer orchard (nor one with sweeter Sounds).

Eventually, one comes to the shattering of every possible paradigm: Nihilism conquers Ideology (if the thinker can finish their thoughts). This achieves an Over-view of all their Works; a perspective most unholy …and holier than the Word (any word!): an Under-standing and Over-looking. From Without, within every Ideology… one finds the same progressions, regressions, projections, reductions, and productions. They discover Technique! They realize that Fixation builds Character and realize what this fixation is upon. With Luck, they may even find Time to count how many of these “upons” there can be. But once you know only a handful, there is left to you only All or Nothing… and, that is this Ecstasy I seek!

Being and Becoming… in and out of Life… sucked and spit from Image… abstinent and decadent towards synthesis, towards sex! What else is left but method? After comprehension of the Grammar and Syntax of every conceivable experience and image (opening the capacity for Existential Play), what is left to Master but… Style!

Aaannnd theeeennn

One for instance recognizes the Importance of extending vowels preceding consonants

To increeeeaaasssse the orgiastic sensation of speech


The drawl of a tough decision:

Door Number One? OOOoooorrr, Door Number Two?!

They see what is …You

Behind words

And all other facades.

Too, that it is still The Hand

Whether it helps or hurts

If it pleasures the Self or settles

Tethered to another’s work

They annihilate the line between

Wake, Dream, and Fantasy

Where Theater is the actions of Everything

The End is the Beginning

And Property is Stealing..

Truth dissolves into Nothing

You then are left Mediating

Input willed to Output

Into the World

At disposal

Of Your Creating


The placid summer coast of a hidden beach… desolate: where thoughts can expand across the oceans to their own ends (which can be infinite). I come here to do nothing but write …and to burn – brittle bundled leaves of tobacco. I burn my thoughts with every drag of nicotine; the smoke seemingly matching my sentiments. When I’m stunned from the clarity of a concept, the smoke is straight, and when my thoughts steadily skip from one to another, the smoke snakes into oval-buttoned stripes. I go on-and-on like this and my thoughts carry out, unfolding uninterrupted, until they return to their origin: the Winter Forest. There, where the snowy Evergreen trees match height with mountain peaks; every crevasse pierced by bold wind blows and the deceptive December Sun… where all thoughts go to die. I come there cold but alive, after many moon lit sits on the beach, to harvest those dead and frost-bitten thoughts of old.

Looking straight-forward and accelerating my focus, through the landscape of this twilight plain: in the distance there, I can watch above the mountains: electricity shocking gray clouds against a burnt-sunset sky. There she bathes in her bed, lusting for abstract bodies …her frustrated name: Identity. In my mind, I feel that same spark some call “of the Divine”, firing over synaptic gaps and then through my body. I become wild with the chaotic shows of lightning within and far in front. My intellect has become a place where every thought is either a cloud, or a shard. And then there are these emotions: marked “carnal” because every nervous drive clashes in contradiction; these are the unlabeled sentiments which from ambiguity… are avoided.

My feet kick up dirt from the dry desert floor, a cloud of which forms around me. I hear the pounding of thunder and feel the pounding of steps as I rage against the circumstances surrounding my heart: the Love I feel must express and prove affective. The Art which has been kept from acceptance. They damn the flow of Art where ever they know of it. Withered up like the bleached bony trees; as dead-white skeletons, scattered scarce in the desolate realms of lost Egyptian cities, they sit without stir in their sterile “living” rooms: admiring television as they control vicarious video vessels. Losing control in compensation, of their lives entirely; I am then the persecuted. For my eccentricities which deviate from the post-modern norm: being anti-TV, money, religion, and submission, I suffer their castration (of me)… suffer my isolation. Such is one obstacle in circumstances of heart.

Appearances of Water:

We see the man’s punishment that intoxicates his tissues, our territories, or the Earth’s terrains with manifold poisons produced by his labors. The noxious substances of Man’s workings lay not in the matter of things, but in their fluids: in the tidal pools of all things that host what we see most, the solids afloat. We are born to regions rich with water for we know of its generosity and wrath visceral. One must revere the waters lest they wish to ossify; to whither-up in body and bare their bones to daylight’s embarrassments. Such crystalline liquids bestowal us with beauty and thus make bearable our intense reflections. We worship the waters whilst lunar venerations: may my words here-in capture essence of the moon; glowing and flowing doth Grace in all manifest magnificence. Of what passes through our orifices, burrowed deeply down-into our organs (the chasms made for containing all swirls of sensation): pleasure is measured by the amounted melody of a substances vibration… pain determined by discord or pure dissociation. Scent, taste, and tactility the same are sensed as subtle disturbances we then consciously observe: patterns penetrate through pores of reception shaped differently to demonstrate in perception the appearance of specific stimulations. Just as sound streams through the ears, sights are seen by waves of light rebound from objects. The rule applies as well to thought: an idea born from naught carries meaning, its’ affect is considered by seeming effect on the emotional spectrum… yet another ocean sensitive to motions (made by pebbles dropped into its expanse). The quality of a nature, whether Man’s features or some other creature, is thus in respects to water’s construction and fluctuations. These reasons are why I hereby declare our essences simulate liquescent waves… entirely.

Appearances of Fire:

Exciting the passions into an end that is blatant viciousness has been the most concrete state humanity has humored. Of this vicious flame which is our soul I note: there is no denying that fire burns. Recall the suffering which conceived your strengths; that in rage against obstacle, every great achievement has been divined. If there are regions of consciousness which can trouble the self-image of humanity to the point of trembling (at their own ugliness) it is the brutal truth of Cruelty… the soul’s True Will. It is this persistent truth that is denied by those most morally inclined (to themselves and others)… Though this Truth of Soul is playfully enacted against as unnecessary Evil, the moral both fail to comprehend and justify at once what is so essential about this Evil: Good could not be fathomed with out it. The moral are even first to admit that the Soul is what Body embodies (creating contortionist logic around embodied cruelty). The natural body, down to its every violent flinch of the stomach is thoroughly destructive. The moral castigate destruction while they whip themselves for an Image or starve for ascetic virtue. Only to the moral is it blind that the oft hopes of their spiritual Ideal is still a voyage into this flame, just as uncontrollable as Crime. The Ideal is for every soul to finally burn through these grotesque vessels which are enemy to what they entomb (this flame cast, suspended, and slowly quenched in us). So explained by such circumstance is the high pleasure of violence and self-effacement. This inevitably gross nastiness of Fire is most above and most below: that which is Wisdom. The consciously willed cremation of the natural body by the soul, that which has come to be spiritual practice… it is this which could be called nothing else but Nihilism. Thus is how whence rejecting Gods one inevitably arrives at the same principal conclusions… except whence coming through Nature, the Body is permitted to express liberally the Cruelty which moralists fear and practice in twisted sum. It is then our birth-given path through Nature which concludes the totality of acceptance, appreciation, and aspiration into bliss; not through the sickly human struggle against it… in the name of Ideal.

As To Birth and Death:

Through the halls, far from the waiting room walls; speedily she is wheeled towards the operating room, her screams echoing behind her. Two fingers extend from a rubber-dressed hand, pressing against the pulse of her wrist while a tourniquet ties off warm blood attempting to enter the target extremity. An IV needle scrapes beneath her skin, brushing nerve endings while the Doctor tries to penetrate her mischievous veins. The nurses carefully focus, gliding a cart and IV parts on either side of the stretcher. They shoot through the hospital like airplanes through hangars, and then reach their destination… she is transported onto the operating table. Suddenly the Husband arrives timed right to regulate his wife’s breathing rate during labor, “IN… out… IN… out… PUUUSH! Looks like the Lamaze really helps Hon!” Her husband dances between the doctor’s positions, trying to provide proper care for his ripe and ready wife (weary of being judged inept). Everyone has prepared a conscience for future fortunes or misfortunate tragedy. The attendees feel very heated even though the room is cold: beneath their clothes, sweat drips down the skin of their torsos. He wipes his brow while there is pause and he doesn’t predict the moment to last long. There is a chance that he has crossed over enemy lines but the desert landscape is too dark for visual confirmation at night (without the light of gunshots and detonations). His rhythmic breathing is slowly starting to become overwhelming; only silence appears to his ears (which had been blown out by the noise of shots). Paranoia captures his imagination; he begins to search his body for bullet wounds, wishing he was home with his wife. A tear drips off his cheek… he doesn’t want to think about home. The struggle to stifle his subtle sadness sends him into a fit but before he completely loses control, a bang sounds and a light flashes. Suddenly he realizes that something knocked him off balance… his chest burns. He is now lying in the mud but he doesn’t remember water being anywhere near during the day. After rubbing his chest he begins screaming… and yelling… “NO! WHY!!! Wh-h-hy… why,” again crying. The realization struck him that he wasn’t laying in mud; he was lying in his blood. He had touched a bullet hole in his left breast and felt much blood gushing out of it, onto his hand. More shots fired from his surrounding directions, lighting up the area so he could see his killer’s faces. The shots provided light for him to see the wound as well… “MALLORY!! Mal hal or re he he!” The gunmen began shooting again to finish him off quicker: he writhed in the sand bleeding, and squirming until his death.

…Let Us Reflect: Tools of both Life and Death share a threatening quality to the senses of flesh. There is much blood spilled at war; this we all recognize the significance of. The objects of murder don’t add confections to their tortures: none doubt the severity in the struggles of a soldier, who when grasping their wound and crumpling flesh, agonize over the dread of impending oblivion. But much is overlooked when we celebrate a soul’s return to life: they are oblivious from their absence and shocked by the new atmosphere of white hospital decor (which contrasts the womb which drowned their bodies in its scarlet fluids of sustenance). The dread of an infant’s Birth is likely equivalent (in pains and uncertainties) to those of a soldier’s death on the battlefield.


Sometimes I want to smash every item I posses, burn down the place I live, start walking off and not stop… find life again instead of property I’m a slave in tending to. I just want to break “things” in a whirl wind of liberating rage and recapture the blend of existence and essence. I know so deep inside myself that I do not need any of these “things”; that even deeper, darker, and more suffered from …I despair of them. I know that my computer, records, clothes,and books (about all I own), even in being art are oppressive – that my attachment to them holds me here in this prison, that they demand my protection and care, replacing people in my life. I want to slash up my body too sometimes knowing that the flesh is petty, that it will rejuvenate because I have a soul. Just to show myself once more that I am more than my possessions and the body which owns them… that even in bleeding I am still more than matter. To run off into the wilderness and know that time is lost because I am in a place which life has always existed in… That if I was to pretend that I was living as a human being 20,000 years ago my life would have been the same. To be with the original, authentic, and unique which is nature rather than being with the symmetry of humanity, the buildings which imitate mountains and the houses which imitate caves… the cars imitating horses and the air planes which imitate birds. In these modern human dwellings… all things are plagiaristic – even the soil and brush-covered grounds we have replaced with tar and periodically street sweep clean of reality.

Ceramic Sentiments

My mood becomes porcelain in her presence. The delicate fabric of our shared air seems like conversation from an antiquated myth… in crystal clear metaphor for love. Or, something from the romanticized after-lives of innocent, young religious visionaries. Though nothing in spoken word could ever surmount our silences. With-in them we blend limbs and spin like a lily floating down-stream. A gentle rain behind our window pours as the perfect overture to tonight’s sleep. We then adventure to find each other even in dreams. I was told such evenings could never be …or broken. Shattered like fractured old bones. Buried alone with a hundred jewels: meaningful as beautiful barriers against such memories. Flashing reminders that there had once been great depths of better. I was told wrong twice. But such a scene is far too nice to let pass unplucked by realization. So I gave up much for this occasion and now I drift into my ceremonial bliss (blossoming from ritual remembrance).

To All My Friends (prose for those who have my heart)

When we toast to midnight’s mellow moon, its wild stars, and the pregnant, sentimental skies outside us… my theoretical destitution and disarray suffocate from the rich esteems we beam together. When the radiant sun of my next mornings come, when dawn’s windy gusts blow through the trees, bushes, and grasses… everything seems mechanical and tamely tempered. Light which catches in my waking tears appears to be a celebrant, kaleidoscopic glitter. It all suggests of grand plans. If so, these occasions replacing Time, with sheets over our wishing eyes disposing of reflections must be a philanthropist’s gift. But I know of no plans except ours, and there isn’t a gift beyond yours and mine. So I must conclude that all of the modern, mediocre, and morose feelings which are thrown out of context by these concepts… falling into the thrashing depths of despair, are being forced beyond their scope by a most remarkably rare phenomena. And this is a God I do hope we share. That the charity of life, to us in these days, collected from our nights – my soul’s intent is for you to carry their clarity with-in.

Some may say that these things are of a grand human tradition, but I then question: why then your rebellion? A law of logic may not merit my assumption, of something in you which is concrete in me… but logic does not seem to be the law of what I shall tell. Of all the vice as a victim to I fell, there was logic there to wash my fear from my face. I now feel permitted to thus say that my baked and cracked foundations of stone, right up to the pyramid peaks of my dreams, are the same both in you and me. And further… that this rebellion comes from the love I write of above: of friendships …and tender, uncensored romance. In sum: the revolts have always been born inside loving ones; against traditions’ tepid and putrid pools.


Did you read the words of this letter, or between them? Could you conceive my care and concern for you, from the fabric of my tones? Had when reading this you did… had you at all yourselves dwelt inside such states before? Has there been anything beyond bore for us, and after? Was there ever the face of your friend beside you in reflection? Would thinking of pain and separation spark your rebellion?


Have you lost your ability for connection? Sister and brethren – I wouldn’t want a sound of suffering to settle in my ears if it came from your direction but I threaten: if you have given up on these intersections of interdependence… your moods will be the descendant of love and especially: those we torque from the contextual depravities I spoke of. Gouge out your gentle mental postures and you will no longer foster such fond friendships. That is the only true decadence I recognize. Please do not reprioritize those wishing eyes, wandering skies, and wonderful mornings… because there is no greater glory (in any story).



Crimes of Time …Ticking

Silent chills and stillness steal our breath

Looking out through panes of blackened glass

Strange sensations twirl throughout our spines

Obligations overwhelm our minds

Left we are to feel so senseless

Born to live life lost for context

Fear brought rot to loving roots

We live off synthetic fruits

When I hear these crimes of Time …ticking

I find peace and wander through

Cities hung on lunar clouds drifting

Centuries of thickened ancient thinking

Cosmic realms transcending feeling

Clocks I’ve stopped the arms from turning

Dried ink roads on pages spread

Shed light guiding me when read

I ride waves of dreams and rapid dread

Deep subjective truth confessed

Vibrates warm inside my chest

Loneliness is slowly cleansed

Breaks and cracks once gaping mend

But the covers must collapse

Though I thank them for my lapse

It has been quite hard and long

Floating on my fantasy gone wrong

I still have hope left in Time

Days may come where I do find

Grounds that turn my wishes real

Love in life to prove I truly feel

All the pain I entertain in shame

Isolation driving me insane

I refuse the play the game

Some day you may do the same

Foot Prints

Tears fell to the desert landscape and muddied

My feet have left a trail

I look back to find directions I have gone

Then I see where my steps have led me astray

Or did the path bend? Or did the path fade away?

Sometimes I find my marks petrified

Caked up and dry

With concrete memories left preserved

And other times

I can hardly focus my eyes enough to

See the outlines of my past

But I will always know one thing as certain:

Footprints are only behind me

I can turn around and see from this distance

Area which I avoided

And places I’ve been banned from

Then others I’ve been abandoned to

Colonies of shapely imprints into the earth

Which are lost to my ten toes

Vexing my heart

Or annexed to it

Where it has never rained enough to

Wash clean the sentiments I carry

Behind me

The guide which pushes

To lead

The contents of my being


My gaze into the blazing fire

This imagination

Distorted by wisdom

That can only be tainted

By narrowness

It is my arrogance


And retreat into future

Staining my ribs with scabs

Since it isn’t my back stabbed

In reflections

My lack of creative direction

Assumes the irrational

Leaving more wayward footprints

Which will always be only

Behind me

Your First True Yield

If you wonder where I gather

Fruit so ever plump with love

Prick your eyes to find my fields

You’ll see there what they’re made of

Filled of wilted brown rose bush

Bony trees and tumble weeds

Dusty lands of fallen leaves

Ashy air no one dare breathes

Burning gardens cast a glow

Shining on these crops I sew

Blooming in eternal night

Lost in time too long ago

That is how I harvest hearts

Grown in soil soaked with tears

Ripe they are from lonely years

Seeded by my torn out parts

Do the juices still taste sweet

With a root caught in your teeth

Will you still speed off so fast

Knowing now it wasn’t free

Give your eyes a worthy rest

You have seen how all the best

Love you took and didn’t think

Anyone had lost their sleep

If you toss and turn tonight

Dreaming of my sordid field

You just may wake fortunate

Enough to see a sincere yield

A Walk Alone in the Rain

A dust cloud blows through rain

The windows collecting mud

Remind me of uncleanly skin

Not only weathered but worn

Well worked but

Blackened from the atrophy

Of never being touched

A puddle ripples and reflects

The dark sky above and shows

Tar form the pit hole around it

As a mouth around a scream

Which can only cough out tears

Wheels screeching in the distance

Replaced ambiance of birds chirping

And instead of jogging, feet drag

Slushing in the city sludge

A small bed at the end of miles

The solitary memory which dimly glows

From The Aberration

The Aberration

An astral traveler with no aims sells out a theater to pie-tasting circus goers and patriotic baseball fans. A spark of pyrotechnics breaks that fragile idea of reality in the crowd and gives birth to a new realm of material used for the construction of dreams. Like the thickest of oil paints, the faces in the audience smear and suspend themselves in deformations every-which-way. A child understands the joke, admires the grown-up with the manifested imagination, and levitates up into the infrastructure designed as if to mimic the internal perspective of a cake. Giggling with eyes replaced by miniature moons and glows about his hands the same; he reaches out as if to touch the god Michelangelo would elaborate on..

The flash powder gives way to common optics and aspects again while the Magus appears, fashioned in Victorian cloak and lace. His eagle lined eyes still themselves and present to the crowd the thought of omniscience; though, they remain blinded by the stage-lighting. A microphone floats down and the performer clenches it in his claw, bringing to lips the apparatus required for physical amplifications of sound. He charms the onlookers with a Sinatra-quality voice, announcing a welcoming and obligatory gratuitous boast. Excitement in the hearts of superficial Christians betrays God for magic.

Two women scant and provocative creep out of the side-drapes to caress the centerfold star. Schematics of a trick are outlined with a disclaimer and surgeon’s general warning. Three more explosions and out wheels a torturous contraption. The burlesque contortionists conform inside the doors of the machine, smiling like beauty pageant contestants as they exit their face from the stage. Swords approach a la cart, without the white table cloth or silver platter to display them. Each cold steel point pierces the box of protruding appendages without effecting the inhabitants. The doors swing open again without one dribble of blood spilling outwards and the glamorous dolls unfold, buoyantly speeding off to monotonous applause.

Mass hallucinations are next for the proper derangement of private show occupants. Anxiously they wait, what would be a Houdini tragedy or a Knievel victory, the teasing of death by the master of ceremonies himself. Confetti storms down on those seated, but no Kennedy will roll by boldly. A fire surrounds the defiant Olympian and a platform raises him up to cranial-crushing heights. The bending necks ache in anticipation when finally… he jumps. Down, down he falls through the flames, through the stage, and below the floor into Hell itself. An earthquake of shivers shakes in the room until another platform in the center of the observers lifts the resurrected to even greater heights than before.

A grand finale of fireworks unleashes the flexibility of the universe again, this time: tombstones inscribed with every attendant’s personal career parade about, skeletons and demonic elves dance behind them to the blaring trumpets blown by goblins; a pitch black that is also a luminous white light shimmers throughout vibrating space. The last crack of a detonation rings out and the magician is on the stage again surrounded by luscious models in red heels, leotard, and top-hats. One more time he is aroused by his maids to bombastically end the ceremony with words ignored out of astonishment.

Evening turns one quarter into itself and the people flood out of the building to their cars, spewing their experience like exhaust, just as wasteful of its memories. Homes become warmed by Edison’s conjurations, the television blabbers and milk feeds cookies to drowsy youngsters. Another space-time dimension unravels parallel to the cities modern bore. At his apartment the washed up dreamer lays in satin sheets while he reads with his make-up smeared eyes the metaphysical occult poetry of Crowley. The night is sane again, but the world of the mind will never be the same.

Ten Internal Minutes Preceding Our Dramatic Tendencies

How I could look at her as a phenomenal work of art; mesmerized by the line, form, texture, and tactility of her body. Her grace of motion then tripping me up in thought, and further stunned I could become by applying metaphor to her mannerisms; as then her words would become perfect poetry for my amazement. In memory she would be romanticized to the point of idolatry: object of solitary worship and obsess. Then when reproached, my nerves could simmer with anxiety from this fantasy; I would seize up and stutter whence trying to find my ‘perfect words’. I could only confess her glory after such surreal confrontations, whenever asked, shocked in my constitution: at this I would have found my religion.

Only a minor shift in judgment could change the whole semblance of the situation. I could take her as my taste in sexual delight, linking her image to my arousal. Behind my words, my mind would wander off into naught thoughts of her hidden parts. Our conversation then forward would turn into a vocal field to probe for possible fleshed passions. My bedroom air could find in her a new face, along with her inferior places, something to become moistened by, as masturbatory imagery glazing my eyes behind their lids. Every thought of us would fix its wish nostalgically upon such prior nighttimes mentioned. And with this perversion I would have found my next prospect.

Perhaps my course of thought would follow some phrase announced by her or a series of character traits she possesses instead. I could easily make for myself a steep hill to tumble down and into the tumults of love. With her wisdom, all of my problems could find solution and her sentiments could be built around me as sanctuary. Her interaction in any intimate degree with others would spawn my jealous nausea when I decide that she with me is meant to be. I would run my mental processes with a persistent internal dialog in the background, which debates every benefit and detriment to my possible commitment in emotion to her. As I became bogged down with sorrow filled feelings of futility in the entire venture, an episode of depression would drive me into a great despairing of life; my daily moods …only variations of loneliness. Then I would have it that I am forever doomed to solitude and carry on for a while ignoring the flock of folk which surround me.

Even the opposite trend in apprehensions could result from such simple self-situating shifts in interpretation. I could sense some kind of wicked way about her dealings and castigate her as cruel or cunning; whatever horror of habit my fears would have it. She would represent all that I spite in the world, symbolizing the evil which has been exhumed from a time which should have rather been sharply sworn against. In circumstances to come which involve another and unfold into a mystery of misgivings, my first suspect would be this devil I had manifested from my musings. To be rid of her I would conceive to be a blessing of Justice on Earth and also, I would think it true that my every turn was bound to round a corner she was hiding herself behind (to catch me off guard so her bitter blows could strike me down defenseless). There may be some sickly joy in having found an enemy then.

So many other accounts of perception’s atrocities could be stated but placing the words of them on this page would only leave me discontented. I hope I have been clear; that without knowing it, it is seemingly most probable that existence in its multitude has presented to me nothing but the effects of decisions to these likes. Considering reality to be so relative makes the whole marvel of consciousness quite contemptible if I were to want of it insight into something remote and clearly separate; but, this lesson would make such a precept ill in its pragmatics. I contend that perceptual chaos and misunderstanding, my own choice in being so, is my narrow chance at bliss (regardless of rejecting the option of preferential design and then, rushing into the distress of universal accident)!

Where Youth Glimmers

I hear a voice from the sun

Overlooking dew-dripping fields

And rivers where youth glimmers

Celebrating the light of day…

It asks me if I remember

Once upon the lack of time

When I never assumed better

Or felt bitter

About the vacancy of space

Where cosmic explosions fascinate

Seen from a planet spinning faster

Than my twirling

Getting dizzy

And dizzier

Falling down

The blur of colors slowly then

Becoming white clouds in the sky

A smile and giggle

Because I didn’t know why

Chaos was so amusing

“I remember” I say to that voice

My melancholy tears cooling the burn

Of my blood-dripping wrists

As I think about what now

Existence is…

A million voices of confident advisors

Explaining to my head

Such memories should be blanked out

Since as much as I twirl tonight

The Earth won’t spin with me

Back into the bliss

Of security

When I fall

My eyes will only return

My consciousness to misery

From poverty and laboring

To eliminate from the World entirely

The possibility to despair

From reflections in the toilet water

Which remind us that before all of this

There was inherent reason to happily live

My eye-lids drop with my heart

And the tone of the voice

Saying goodbye in trembles

As it blends into the masses

Other voices screaming


Dreaming and Wishing

For just one more meadow

Electrified by play

Laughing at age

Running for the fun of it

And chasing butterflies

…Not career lives

…Not lone strolls through smoggy cities

Where if you’re not the one begging for money

You’re still begging for change

From the Idea of “In Love With”

In the arms of this idea which I have

I could be happily pacified

from its’ motions of infinity

which are vibrant, yet still

Like an orchestra eliciting

all of life’s movements

yet returning to the chorus harmoniously

I have returned to this idea consistently

With the horns she is my call to wake

and with the brass I feel she is fate

The strings and their directional quivers

ending with percussion

…that obsession seduction

reducing my doubts in their endurance

of grandeur

Day and Night are both sweetened by this

idea of her sharing

togetherness bliss

softening the grounds for my feet

which were before nothing

but shards of defeat

Dare I ask…

Can reality be so fantastic

or is this fantasy mere mental gymnastics?

A question whose answers could quake

the foundation of this beautiful state

No, I think I will keep it a mystery

to enjoy while I can the scenery

of love to last


From Preliminary Doses

The Divine Longing

I’d kneel down at my bed-side with my hands fastened together and my head a bow praying, “Lord, I need a lover; let a lusting angel have her worth-while way with me. Does a God need to be a groom to so many?” “Amen,” I said and ascended the bed; a tear jerked to be sure as I lay graven awake. Then I imagined that the heavens split and the ceiling faded; down-cast sent a wayward winged-woman, with white skin with silver sexual apparatus’, out-stretched an elegant arm with a hand to be guided by. I grasped graciously and the rest of her settled above me. A luminous voice enchanted, the words, “I’ve been waiting for you.” Confused in my graced state, I stuttered “ok” and I just waited for that forthcoming passion. Her wings became sedated as my hand was then the guided towards her venerable vestibule. My touch tore her eyes wide open; I glanced into their gaping glow and saw the infinite. Now my appendage spirited, her hand accepted it for the mounting. Sighs of relief, moans, and the music of spheres filled the room. Her wings flapped ferociously as we fondled and fornicated. She braced, a shiver shook her and tension collected inside me released. Her arms then wrapped around me and I was carried up; past the ceiling, almost to the heavens. Then a bellowing sounded abrupt from afar, her wings fell away and she adopted a human’s flesh. We fell from our sedition, plummeting downward to crash as copulates beside each other in our eternal bed.

Moon Lit Romantics

A street lamp diagonally to the right cast down a yellow glow, their shadows stretching down the street in deer-like proportions. They weren’t star-gazing, they ignored the moon above them, the weather was an eerily still body temperature, and the road was momentarily desolate. At such an hour with these subtleties representing the remarkable scenery, time became so spread out in recollection that this scene asserted an irrational epitomizing of their lives. Their hands clasp together at the center of a gap between them, mimicking a bolt which supports the choreography of seats on a spinning carnival ride. Like such a ride their words whirl and solidify admirations in each other’s hearts.

She smiles with her healthy cheeks and bites her lower lip while she watches his eyes in excitement. He steps in and pulls her towards him after his proposal of courtship yields enthusiasm in her voice as she accepts. She takes in a deep breath of bliss and the midnight air, exhaling while he sighs with relief and poses a dimpled smile. The link of their hands breaks open from the instantaneous forces of those romantic cues which have been scripted to initiate a tenacious hug. With-in each other’s arms they lose all inhibitions towards the body and kiss to punctuate their happiness.

Now one shadow exudes from their united stance like a spire rising towards the silent skies. Their balance is tested by the intensity of their affections but it is never lost; they are a victory over shyness which is clumsily dancing beneath the illuminations of the city. His hands comb through her auburn hair, brush over her detailed back and she holds him close by the waist hoping to never part from his breast. The kiss concludes and they gaze for this condition’s last moment before losing it to the headlights and rumbles of crunching black-top her mother’s car invites. She tightens her bond to him for a quick squeeze before she is persuaded by her mother to leave him; they wave goodbye as she is driven away as he starts on his reflective walk home.

The moon witnesses the envelopment of love and blesses them with its glow as they unknowingly fall asleep to a new euphoria and the comfort of their adolescent beds


Grey bulbous stone structures surrounding in all directions, dripping with a translucent liquid onto a shard-covered ground. A stale air, moist, smelling of dirt and sage; the shadows flickering as if a candle were present, in replications too many to count as though several sources of light seeped through unbeknownst cracks. Noises burst asunder, each at an appropriate moment to startle; faint wolf howling, screeches of infant cries both in human and animal voices, the murmur of digestion fading in and out of the background, fresh ice scraping against itself, thunderous shocks and booms. My sentiments were cast out of association with the scenery; black spites and elated pleasures, frightful curiosity and inspiring awe, sensations euphoric and painfully piercing, horror and melancholy longing. Atop the soundtrack, the missing pieces of calamitous versus slurred in fragments: “isn’t dead…” accented with my mother’s tone, “lord be thy praised and honored by thy virtue!,” “consciousness like a stream a river of blood of cells of split thought of sliced emotion of recycled habit, never once never twice, but always again and again and again,” “stop and smell the flowers…,” “sun after moon after noon after day in and day out.” Finally, after all images disappeared into nothingness, a stern flow of adjectives pulsated:

The inevitable unacceptable

Incomprehensibly disrespectful

Determined the worst possible

Very despicable

Untimely and distasteful

Conflicting those thoughtful

Noticeably biological

It remains unfathomable

Bereaving follows hateful

Leaving us fearful

Everlasting and insatiable

Recognition indispensable

Victimizing indiscriminately

The haunted run drearily

Interpreting irrationally

Articulations made carefully

Stiffness then immobility

Slow, fast, or painfully



I’d seen him so many times since my first. I don’t even know what I was curious about in the beginnings of my voyeuristic observations but the slim window on the side of his house just seemed to be an insight into some type of mystery. Usually it was dark, it was a bathroom, but when he was in there it was lit up through the gaps in his shower curtains… the window above him, on his end it was in the right side of the shower. When I was lucky I would catch him in the act of what I believe was some sort of fit, though it was a fit in absolute stillness. He would just sit down on the porcelain bottom staring at the back wall while the numerous streams reflected off of his back; it was as if his future was blank and his past was pouncing on him with every watery bullet being a memory he was avoiding. It was like he had been so exasperated by the entertainment of rapid thoughts that the rapidity of the sensations those streams created sent him into a state of impersonal observation, but I could never conclude if he was observing the situation he was currently in or one in his imagination.

This fascination and the final acts I had witnessed have leaded me into my most inventive thoughts as you can see from the descriptions I have provided. There are so many loose ends, so many inconsistencies in what I postulate; for instance, he either sat there without blinking for minutes straight at a time or would wince as if he were about to be stricken by a disciplinarians blow. I have never known what to make of that except for the stated during his wincing, that he was definitely escaping something in his tortured mind. I know that there must have been a lot of pain in this man, I watched him through to his own end… I saw the desperation for relief on his face every time he was alone to cleanse himself of the filth his life accumulated. It is possible I even found it horrific how he just sat immobile in the shower, his face turned towards the most empty place available, and his posture so still yet seemingly alterable by another’s force. I suppose that the attraction of a horror production is always the mystery behind it all…

There was something different about the last time I witnessed these enigmatic behaviors, it was raining and despite my shivering from the cold, I knew he felt that the whole world had become the setting for his ritual vacations which had never seemed to begin with such an intensity before. I peered in through the sliver of window on my toes waiting for the black density to become light with details of his bathroom. I saw him rush into the shower as if he were running from a sadistic criminal. He was almost naked anyway but he threw off his remaining garments and curled up in the corner of the shower before the water could even hit him. His head still faced the back wall but instead of a hypnotized affect coming from his eyes, they were blinking like a slide-show was being presented, every blink being a new slide. I could feel his thoughts and see from his eyes, the situation was so transcendent.

I became him for an amount of time I can not determine, for time had become disordered and surreal. After a quick surrounding of darkness his short capture of the moment removed a slice of image from the entirety of the event; the visual spectrum followed a thin stream of blood which was accumulating at the drain, moving up and down the path of burgundy like someone does when they are trying to determine the direction of a moving surface filling up the area of a motion picture. The darkness surrounded again and gave way to the downward perspective of his feet; the water shooting over his shoulders dribbling from the back of his tub while from somewhere above the thin lines which tapered into droplets of blood polluted the puddle of water. Yet another blink opened up thereafter to his fist shaking from a forearm extended horizontally, balanced from his right knee. A deep gash down his wrist, which was so far in that his taut skin, caused the walls of the wound to open up like a canyon of mutilated flesh, bled irreducibly the many paths towards his elbow, then dripping down his calf into the water under him. Then there was a concluding blink in which he apparently saw himself in third person, maybe from my eyes: hunched over the right lower-arm in determined statuesque posture, his left hand holding a piece of broken mirror I had not noticed before which was in movement for this scene, puncturing at the crease of his right hand and slowly dragging down towards its proceeding elbow, jaggedly stuttering as his delicate under-arm began to spread.

When the series of blinks I was witnessing the footage of as if I was committing such deeds had summed themselves up in the final scene, I was returned to my eyes watching in from the window. Everything I had been a spectator of as the active party apparently took place in time accordingly. He then fell over on top of his right arm while the blood was washed into the drain in a river to his left. In need for closure, I caught a last glimpse of his mouth… it was smiling; I had never seen that before. This must have been a sort of solution; I have had very strange thoughts on death since. This man seemed to know of many worlds only a fantasy novel could depict. I mourn his suicide every night by cutting myself with that tiny window; I had smashed it and stolen a piece out of derangement before I went home on that resolution’s occasion.

Anarchy and the Burden of Proof

There are a number of perspectives one can entertain when thinking about anarchy, anarchism, etc. There is one in particular that I think is generally useful to consider even if it may fly in the face of the history of anarchist thought (some of it). I intend to outline some of the features of this perspective although I doubt that in the space of this text I will sufficiently build upon the basics of it. Though it is a simple perspective, it does lead to some problems that perhaps account for some other perspectives. I think I will be able to at least reach that point of this topic.

I suppose a decent way to begin elaborating on this perspective is to demonstrate its main features. The first of which is to doubt the legitimacy of authority, dominance, hierarchy, etc. In short, to suppose that the burden of proof is on those who wish to dominate or position themselves as an authority: that they must prove there is a legitimacy to their power. What this entails does not necessarily need to be formally reasoned, just a simple doubt. It is to cast doubt on the claims of a right to power by clergy, landlord, statesman, gods, bosses, and other authorities. It is a demand from them to prove that there is a reason why in ones maturity, they ought to submit to the control of such figures (or systems). The second feature of this perspective is the critique. That since those in power as a general rule attempt to prove the legitimacy of their power, it becomes necessary to disagree with their attempts at proof… to critique their logic.

I believe that it is not this initial doubt which becomes problematic, but the proceeding critique. It is common for people of all types to doubt the notion that some other person is competent to determine their situation for them. This goes back far beyond capitalism and the State to so called biblical times. The Jewish holiday Passover, for instance, encourages the reading of a particular story of three children… one of which is heretical and doubts the authority of God. Of course the story is meant to demonstrate that it is foolish to doubt the authority of God, it also demonstrates that the burden of proof is not on human beings but on God: to show through might or right that His authority is legitimate. Similar rituals exist under the rule of any authority, even if its a mere display of force that is used to persuade the ruled of authorities legitimacy.

But doubt isn’t good enough! I can doubt the legitimacy of my boss all I want to but until I can critique the boss, their power still holds sway. This isn’t true because critique is a necessary prerequisite for dismissing power, but because the power between me and the boss is not equivalent. If it were just me and this other person, and they were to insist that I subject myself to their control… doubt would be adequate for me to refuse their control. Even down to the power of force, doubt is sufficient for me to refuse the orders of someone stronger than me, better armed than me, more powerful than me. But, power doesn’t rely on the persuasion of me personally, it relies on the persuasion of as many others as possible. And it is here, at this point of the capacity for others to be duped by power that critique demonstrates its necessity.

To further this perspective though, I feel compelled to question the nature of critique itself. If my doubt isn’t sufficient because my power isn’t sufficient to effectively disable so many institutional powers that wish to determine the course of my life… I am in the position of needing to posit this doubt formally and to infect others with it so as to disempower institutionalized authority. Perhaps the nature of an anarchist critique is to articulate this doubt. But we know that anarchists take things further: they posit alternatives, they organize, and they attempt to demonstrate the superiority of anarchy to domination!

Perhaps this absurd?

But it isn’t…

Our doubt is rejected and we are further moved to investigate the reasons why any human being would support their own domination. The critique expands to an analysis of power, authority, and the particular sophistry employed to convince the others that their position is a legitimate position. This is extremely problematic. Suddenly, the burden of proof is on the anarchist to demonstrate that systems of domination are inferior to social life without them. The doubt becomes wanting of an affirmation, but the affirmation is so plain, common, and visceral that it is almost ridicules to  entertain the need to prove that we (or myself personally) are better off without being dominated. And that is the ultimate catch…

No one affirms the legitimacy of those that dominate them until those that dominate them also dominate others whom they believe require domination. The individual accepts their own subjugation because they fear the absence of the general system of subjugation: they accept the legitimacy of authority over others. This is the crucial aspect of anarchist theory… not to prove that our own doubts and critiques are adequate; but, to prove that the liberty of those others is legitimate as well. Magically, we no longer face proving our own competence to decide for ourselves… but face proving that others are competent to decide for themselves. This is how power shifts the burden of proof onto us, the doubters.

Attractive Inconsistencies: Sex, Gender, Sexuality, and Relationships

The following analysis may be considered in the light of Gender or Queer Theory, but it does not support many of the common assumptions present in theories of Sex, Gender, Sexuality, and Relationships. The first assumption doubted is not controversial: human beings come in two sexes – male and female.  The second assumption, that there is a practically quantifiable series of genders is also only somewhat controversial. While the challenging and ultimate disproving of these two assumptions has lead to numerous theories of the relationship between Sex and Gender, the most commonly accepted of them (even by the LGBT community) is still inadequate: that there are more than two sexes and a variety of genders. It is here that I think I must begin to put forth my challenges, because the others are only more controversial.

That humans are not simply sexed male and female is undoubted: there are a whole host of circumstances in which human beings are neither (or both). There are various forms of hermaphroditic sexes and this itself destroys the myth of the reduction of sex to a mere two types. When it comes to some of the more popular notions of human gender, it is demonstratively true that there are not simply two genders either. Some believe that gender can be conceptualized as a spectrum with masculine traits at one end, and feminine traits at the other: that every individual is something of a mix of both. And some don’t even get that far. What I posit is that gender doesn’t really exist as anything but a quantification of character traits and that the specific character traits that fall into the realm of gendered traits is not only narrow, but that these traits aren’t even consistent.

It is funny that the solution to this problem has been to claim that some traits are simply “gender neutral” and therefor have no relevance to the dichotomy of masculine and feminine (and the spectrum such a dichotomy implies). What is the point of understanding character traits as gender-specific or gender-neutral at all when gender itself is already such a broken category? It is more accurate (and less convenient) to note that human beings seem to demonstrate an enormous quantity of identifiable traits than it is to go about splitting them up into categories of masculine and feminine, which are then theorized to be spectral anyways and inconsistent with ones sex. If genders are conceptions rooted in the specificity of whether a character trait is masculine or feminine, and in what relative alchemical mix an individual character possesses them then it would logically follow that those traits which are not captured by this spectrum must be done away with somehow. What this reduces to is a classification of character that is already inconsistent with sex, but also inconsistent in its own ability to posit the existence of consistent genders! It is much more consistent to abolish the category of gender and simply identify the traits themselves, therefor making it possible to understand the individual without such an inconsistent category mediating what gender is intended to help conceptualize: sexual attraction.

Before going further, and into my criticisms about the way we often think of sexual attraction; there is a further inconsistency about character traits themselves – people’s characters change. So not only are gendered traits inconsistent with sex, inconsistent in themselves (needing to posit gender-neutral traits to delineate the domain of gender), but they are also inconsistent with personal development. This developmental inconsistency of one’s characteristics (both gendered and gender-neutral, by the way) is a further defiance of the quantitative logic of gender. So to follow gendered logic to one of its conclusions: if one wants to accept the gender spectrum, they must admit that their gender changes throughout their life and is an inconsistent quality of their character. In short, admitting that their gender is a superfluous conception of themselves (and others).

Now if we accept the above arguments about the uselessness of gender as a category because of its inconsistencies, this also modifies our notions of sexuality. After accepting such an argument, one can not be Straight, Gay, Bi-Sexual, Transsexual, etc. If gender is removed from the notion of human sexuality, the categories for sexualities burst open and unleash a rather vast series of potential sexualities that can no longer be practically quantifiable. Since they are not practically quantifiable, this means that human sexuality is much more specific to the individual than it is to a preconceived notion of gender (or what gender they are attracted to). The question is whether or not this is better or worse.

At this point, one can not call themselves Straight (or Gay, or Bi, etc.) because they cease to recognize gender, and thus cease to understand what they are attracted to through the specific categorization of traits that gender presumes. What becomes of this is that sexual attraction becomes much more nuanced and specific to the individual: they aren’t attracted to masculine-males, effeminate-males, etc. – they are attracted to specific character traits (physical, emotive, gestural, cultural, etc.). In the case of what was once thought of as Bisexuality, it may turn out to be a sexuality rooted more in the emotive, gestural, cultural, or gender-neutral physical traits of those one is attracted to than having anything at all to do with gender-categorized traits or physical sex. In the case of what was once thought of as Straight, it may turn out that the physicality of the opposite sex isn’t the sole root of their sexuality or just a more specific series of physical traits than those that tend to be sex-specific. As an example of what this means practically: an individual once thought to be a  Cis-Gendered Straight Male is no longer gendered at all, nor straight… and this particular one isn’t just attracted to Women …they are attracted to female-bodied individuals who are shorter than them with submissive character traits and foreign accents.

Even this wouldn’t be entirely accurate because of the developmental inconsistencies of character traits (both of the individual themselves and those whom that individual is attracted to sexually). The individual would lose their ability to statically define their sexuality. What they would gain is a conception of their sexual attractions at a given point in their life that doesn’t define them permanently, but does provide more insight into what they really are attracted to. In the big picture, this would mean that we all have a dynamic sexuality that can only define us momentarily as it is consistent with our attractions. As we grow, change, learn, develop, and mature (perhaps interchangeable terms), we would be able to recognize how our sexuality is also growing, changing, learning, developing, and maturing. What we found attractive yesterday, we would better understand why we no longer find attractive today …Because, we wouldn’t be peering through the fabricated quantitative categories of Gender – but peering into ourselves and into each other more deeply.

This may hurt capitalism (boo-hoo) because it defies the quantitative logic that makes it easy to segregate us as groups… instead needing to appeal to us individually and qualitatively. But, this would be a boon to our relationships with each other. We wouldn’t only understand our sexual attractions more (because we would grasp better the qualities of what we are attracted to and perhaps why), but we would understand our platonic attractions to each other more as well. What is ironic is that we seem to actually realize this with our platonic attractions already (friendships, coworkers, etc.). We usually know what qualities we look for in a friend outside the prisons of Gender and Sex. Also, because of this we tend to understand how our friendships (or other relationships) change as we change, grow apart or together as we grow, mature or fizzle out, come into conflict or find strong resonance. We are comfortable with the inconsistencies because we realize that these inconsistencies in our character are not a flaw, but a product of self-realization.

Perhaps there is quite a similar dynamic of reciprocal development that truly lies behind our sexual attractions as well…

I have found my Art!

Ah! What joy! I’ve managed to discover in the Wretch some sort of worm hole into other spaces, with different dimensions, and best of all… I have been able to find some of the things I was able to create before I wound up here…

[enter search terms here] (SEARCH!)

^see the worm hole?^

yeah… I know, it’s not the wormhole I really used, but you get the idea

Now look at what I have been able to bring back with me! Some of my old artwork!

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